Whatever happened to Creation?
We have become accustomed to, conditioned to live a Reactionary lifestyle. The holidays are coming, so I must make great amounts of tasty food. I have great amounts of tasty food, so I must eat too much. I ate too much, so now I must diet.
It seems like a simple example... but it is typical of how many of us live our lives, day-to-day. This thing happened, so I did that. A reaction. A new door appeared, so I went in. It can be a good thing. A new job opened up, so I applied. My sister turned 50, so I sent her a birthday card (errm. I'm only a few months late with that!!!).
Whatever happened, though, to Creation?
I have learned to have a mix of reaction and creation. In this modern world, there's no way to avoid chain reactions. Someone posts a "Hello" on Facebook, and you reply. Someone pokes you, so you poke back.
But Creation, in my terms, means having Vision. A Master Plan. Or maybe, it doesn't.
I picked up a camera and went out into the world and took some photographs. It was a reaction, yes, an escape from the mundane, from the stress, but it was transformed into something more. Something in me sought out some place to share the one or two photographs that had particular meaning, to me. Particularly my photo "Heaven's Light", a rural church at sunset. When I found that place to share, I posted the photos in a public forum.
Within moments, I had two new 'friends' who liked the photos, and commented on them. One of those friends dropped off the radar after awhile, the other, is still one of my best friends. Over time, more and more connections were made, essentially because of one photograph that I took. It was a reaction, at the time, but also a creation. It was "stopping to smell the roses" or see the sunset, as it were.
Eventually, through the personal encouragement of my friends, my family, I decided to compile my photographs into a book. It took over a year, off and on, with a wild, mad final rush, over the last couple of months. But I did create the book, with no particular feel for what I'd do once it was done. I just had this burning, craving desire to create Something Good.
I haven't ordered any of the books now, in a couple years. But while I did, I sold all I ordered. More than a hundred, all told.
Reactions... I showed the "photo" that started it all to a friend. She said that she knew someone that would like it, and called her up. The Someone liked it and wanted a copy. I had one printed and took to her. She liked it so much that she wanted a copy of the book, as well, sight unseen. So I brought her a book, but told her that I'd sell it to her full price, only she could give me $5 less and donate the rest to the church, that was featured on the cover.
Next thing you know, she called me back and asked how many more of the photobooks did I have? I said, 3 or 4. She said she had pending orders for 7 but if I needed to order more, hold off... A few weeks went by and when we talked again, she had sold several more. I ordered some more - and in all, through her, I sold 28 books, with a $5 each donation back to her church - which was met dollar for dollar by a church organization, and the church took the $280 earned, and paid for some much needed furnace repairs.
The Holiday-Food-Diet reaction chain didn't do much.. but mixing Reaction with Creation works wonders.
I got my start in photogaphy back at Mount Ida High School as a photographer on the yearbook staff. Truth be told, I'd always been interested, I'd gotten my own camera at about 11 or so, and just kept taking photos.
But as an adult, I didn't like spending money on film, so it fell by the wayside. A neighbor lost her husband due to a heart attack, and I started mowing her grass, because it was way too much for her alone. When she finally settled the estate and was getting ready to move, she gave me a camera as part of the thank you for helping. I didn't want payment, but appreciated the gesture. I took the digital camera and took some photos, and loved it so much I bought a better camera. And the rest, as they say, is history. There's a lot of Reaction in this story...
But the Creation is good, too. In addition to the old church getting much-needed repairs, the book opened other doors, as well. One old farm, featured in the book, I titled "home". It was an old farmhouse and barn that has always stuck a chord, deep within me... It's nestled near a mountain, cozy, inviting, feeling like "home".
Turns out, when Robin (now my wife), saw the photo, and saw the caption, it certainly meant something to her, as well... For it was her Grandfather's farmhouse. He's gone now, and the farm is owned by someone else, but there's still that deep current of "home-ness" that connects us, and always has connected us, even when we did not realize it.
If I continued to live Reactively, then I'd never have known. We would never have been. Creation is more important today than ever. Be reactive - you can't help but be, we're all human. Transform the Reaction with Creation and you never can tell what Wonders may be discovered.
Be still. Listen, not so much with your ears, but with your heart. Find a quiet place to grow. To be. To create.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Economic Stimulus Plan
This is just some ramblings... I may work toward getting numbers documented and sources quoted, and submit it to some major newspapers...
It is my feeling that the "Occupy" movements across America recently rightly focused attention on big banks, Wall Street, and corporate executives, not to mention many government policies which seem to favor the top 1% of rich people and totally ignore the little guys...
And the Democrats and Republicans can't seem to agree on stimulus plans, or debt reduction, or anything else these days.
And President Obama is rightly trying to promote job growth and revenue growth... But it's not enough.
Do you want to know what can be done to reduce corporate expenditures, offsetting increased taxes on the rich and assisting the 'common man' at the same time as corporate America, potentially creating new jobs, creating much more cash flow, with almost no government intervention, no extra money being spent by the government?
Consider this headline:
Chevron Announces $7.8 Billion in Q3 Profits, 2011 Profits for Big-Five Oil Companies Hit a Staggering $101 Billion
While driving across the country this past Thanksgiving, I observed a wide range of gas and diesel prices, and considering how much I spent, it got me to thinking...
It is my feeling that the "Occupy" movements across America recently rightly focused attention on big banks, Wall Street, and corporate executives, not to mention many government policies which seem to favor the top 1% of rich people and totally ignore the little guys...
And the Democrats and Republicans can't seem to agree on stimulus plans, or debt reduction, or anything else these days.
And President Obama is rightly trying to promote job growth and revenue growth... But it's not enough.
Do you want to know what can be done to reduce corporate expenditures, offsetting increased taxes on the rich and assisting the 'common man' at the same time as corporate America, potentially creating new jobs, creating much more cash flow, with almost no government intervention, no extra money being spent by the government?
Consider this headline:
Chevron Announces $7.8 Billion in Q3 Profits, 2011 Profits for Big-Five Oil Companies Hit a Staggering $101 Billion
While driving across the country this past Thanksgiving, I observed a wide range of gas and diesel prices, and considering how much I spent, it got me to thinking...
If I average 25,000 miles driven per year, at an average of 25MPG, and an average cost of $3.50 per gallon of gasoline, then my annual fuel expense for the year is 1,000 gallons or $3,500 in gasoline.
A 10% cut in the cost of the gasoline (to $3.15 per gallon) would reduce my annual cost to $3,150.00 – a savings of $350 dollars, which could be invested in other things.
Small fries… the payroll tax has potentially saved me more this year. But it’s something.
And on our recent jaunt from Pennsylvania to Arkansas, we spent several hundreds of dollars in one trip to go see family. I saw gas prices vary as much as fifty cents per gallon in a 200-mile range – the lowest I saw was $2.89 per gallon near Roanoke VA, while at home it was $3.39 per gallon.
Saving a bit on gas (the $2.89 fillup was great, saving me about $8 on one fillup!!) would probably convince me to take more vacations, so my spending, albeit only saving $350 in a year, would potentially go up by my eating out… so the 10% savings in cost up front would change my $350 in savings into perhaps, say, $1000 spent (in more travel, eating, hotels, etc).
Still small fries. So what? I save $350 but I am convinced to spend $1000… sounds silly, but it works. It’s what makes the economy grow.
According to http://quickfacts.census.gov there are approximately 309,000,000 people in the USA as of 2010. There are approximately 113,000,000 households in the US. If only 10% of those households avereaged a $250 a year savings on fuel and spent just that savings and no more on other things (more travel, etc), that would be an injection of $2,825,000,000 into the economy. If they were like me, they’d spend more than the $250 they saved, so potentially the 2.8 BILLION dollars spent on things other than fuel could be doubled, or tripled in its returns.
It’s just an example, for sure.
But what about all those trucks stops across America, that are averaging $3.80 to $4.10 per gallon of diesel. True, I don’t use diesel. But Wal Mart does. So does Target. And Costco, and Big Lots, and Hobby Lobby. What would a 10% reduction in fuel expense do there?
If my 10% savings produced 3-fold return in economic stimulus, what would their savings produce? Really, if a company spends a million dollars in gas in a year (most of the above probably spend billions), and could save 10% on that cost, then they’d have another $100,000 to invest in something else. What if they spent that on more goods to sell, or on R&D to create better products for consumers, or more simply, what if they passed the savings on to the consumer (Yee-haw!!), or what if they hired a new employee or two?
It might just be that a few new jobs would be created. It might just be that I’d go into the store and buy a few more things (more interesting products, lower prices, etc).
Forget tax breaks for corporations OR consumers… Convince (by mandate if necessary) the Big Oil guys to do some profit sharing – by returning our pump prices to more reasonable amounts. A 10% cut at the pump is NOT enough, but it’s a start, when the only people in this economy making record profits is Big Oil.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Dimpling
The word of the day is dimpling.
In particular, Apple Dimpling.
This is an action word (ie. verb). It is the act of creating dimples. Apple, in this case, is an adverb. Dimpling is the verb.
Some of us were born with dimples, but a surprising majority were not. No fear, though, for apples are near.
Kids roam the streets of America, hurling apples at unsuspecting friends and foes alike. When they strike the face, in particular the cheek (a rather cheeky thing to do, if I say so myself!), they sometimes leave a depression, a lasting depression right there on the surface of the skin, near the edges of one's mouth. Thus is born, the apple dimple.
The kids who roam the streets in packs, hurling apples? They are called apple dimpling gangs (I think there may have been a Disney movie at some point about them).
In particular, Apple Dimpling.
This is an action word (ie. verb). It is the act of creating dimples. Apple, in this case, is an adverb. Dimpling is the verb.
Some of us were born with dimples, but a surprising majority were not. No fear, though, for apples are near.
Kids roam the streets of America, hurling apples at unsuspecting friends and foes alike. When they strike the face, in particular the cheek (a rather cheeky thing to do, if I say so myself!), they sometimes leave a depression, a lasting depression right there on the surface of the skin, near the edges of one's mouth. Thus is born, the apple dimple.
The kids who roam the streets in packs, hurling apples? They are called apple dimpling gangs (I think there may have been a Disney movie at some point about them).
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
My Favorite Color
Until recently, in fact, until today, I suppose I had no favorite color. If I preferred anything, it might have been some shade of blue… but really, colors are overrated. I have a dark green shirt that I prefer to wear to work, I’d probably have picked dark blue for a car, but I am happy with red. They are all just colors. None of them have any particular meaning, to me.
I was thinking a little bit about the divisions in our world. Everyone talks about right and wrong as if they were polar opposites. In a binary world – there are only two options. Off, or on. Right, or left. Democrat, or Republican. Black, or white.
For a long time, I lived in a gray world. Sure, there were lots of shades of that gray. But it was black, and white, and when you mix them, you get gray.
Somewhere in there, I discovered a rainbow. Imagine a world with no color. Just varying shades of gray. Years may go by, and you see all the details of your world in great clarity, you aren’t blind. But everything is black, or white, or somewhere in between. Then one day, you wake up, and there’s a rainbow. Imagine the awe, the surprise and wonder.
What can it mean? It’s something beyond comprehension. I wouldn’t have missed color because I never knew color existed. But what happens when you spy a rainbow, however fleeting that glimpse may be? It would turn your world upside down. You have discovered new - something that you never even knew existed.
But there’s a problem. A rainbow is not a color. Or is it? Actually, it is. It is light, as viewed through a prism. A million little prisms, a million little raindrops each acting as a prism. And black, or darkness, is simply the absence of light, of color.
I remember some of this from science class, and from art class, years ago. But all of that was just theory. Now I’ve discovered that it’s real.
From a grayscale world to a rainbow world. From the relative absence of light, to the reality of an abundance of light. Where darkness has its place but it doesn’t drown out all else.
Now, if only those right and left-oriented people, those politicians, the people too concerned about absolute right and absolute wrong, that believe it’s black and white, if they could only see the rainbow, they might come to realize that it’s all good. We do NOT live in a black and white world. Black and white DO NOT EXIST. Black is the absence of light, and white is just light that includes all the colors of the rainbow.
If they’d get off their duffs and quit worrying about ones and zeros, get out of their tunnelvision and grayscale economies, they might realize that it’s not worth all the bother and fuss and hype and they might learn to just BE. They might learn that it doesn’t have to be right or left. Black or white. Democrat or Republican. It’s ALL good. At least, there is some good, in all.
Imagine a world where the politicians would quit bickering about black and white, and take a breather, and look again at the rainbow that’s all around us, and see that there are other solutions to their problems besides infighting, back-stabbing, bickering, shouting. It isn’t about ones and zeros, it’s about 2’s, 3’s and 4’s, and A’s, B’s, C’s.
Roy G. Biv would understand. It’s all good.
BTW, Light (aka the rainbow) is my favorite color.
I was thinking a little bit about the divisions in our world. Everyone talks about right and wrong as if they were polar opposites. In a binary world – there are only two options. Off, or on. Right, or left. Democrat, or Republican. Black, or white.
For a long time, I lived in a gray world. Sure, there were lots of shades of that gray. But it was black, and white, and when you mix them, you get gray.
Somewhere in there, I discovered a rainbow. Imagine a world with no color. Just varying shades of gray. Years may go by, and you see all the details of your world in great clarity, you aren’t blind. But everything is black, or white, or somewhere in between. Then one day, you wake up, and there’s a rainbow. Imagine the awe, the surprise and wonder.
What can it mean? It’s something beyond comprehension. I wouldn’t have missed color because I never knew color existed. But what happens when you spy a rainbow, however fleeting that glimpse may be? It would turn your world upside down. You have discovered new - something that you never even knew existed.
But there’s a problem. A rainbow is not a color. Or is it? Actually, it is. It is light, as viewed through a prism. A million little prisms, a million little raindrops each acting as a prism. And black, or darkness, is simply the absence of light, of color.
I remember some of this from science class, and from art class, years ago. But all of that was just theory. Now I’ve discovered that it’s real.
From a grayscale world to a rainbow world. From the relative absence of light, to the reality of an abundance of light. Where darkness has its place but it doesn’t drown out all else.
Now, if only those right and left-oriented people, those politicians, the people too concerned about absolute right and absolute wrong, that believe it’s black and white, if they could only see the rainbow, they might come to realize that it’s all good. We do NOT live in a black and white world. Black and white DO NOT EXIST. Black is the absence of light, and white is just light that includes all the colors of the rainbow.
If they’d get off their duffs and quit worrying about ones and zeros, get out of their tunnelvision and grayscale economies, they might realize that it’s not worth all the bother and fuss and hype and they might learn to just BE. They might learn that it doesn’t have to be right or left. Black or white. Democrat or Republican. It’s ALL good. At least, there is some good, in all.
Imagine a world where the politicians would quit bickering about black and white, and take a breather, and look again at the rainbow that’s all around us, and see that there are other solutions to their problems besides infighting, back-stabbing, bickering, shouting. It isn’t about ones and zeros, it’s about 2’s, 3’s and 4’s, and A’s, B’s, C’s.
Roy G. Biv would understand. It’s all good.
BTW, Light (aka the rainbow) is my favorite color.
Monday, April 11, 2011
It's All Good
I am not an overly 'religious' person, in some ways of meaning... I believe that people are smart enough to follow Good for Good's sake, and Good will take care of them. Good and God in this way are interchangeable, to a degree. If you do Good, God will take care of you. This doesn't mean that you have to be a goody-two-shoes, but you really should at least follow your own conscience.
We've been studying Meister Eckhart, who was ex-communicated from the Catholic church for heresy, shortly after his death a few hundred years ago... Many of the things he said and did were contrary to the powers-that-be of the day... and made people angry. He talked, as a priest, to the ordinary folks in their own tongue... In ways that they could understand... He said things like that they could find God within themselves...The Church didn't like that - their path was through the priest...
And truthfully, we can all look for God "out there" but .. he's "in here", and has been all along... If we can't find Peace, how can we find Him? If we can't look in the mirror and say I love you, I respect you, how can we expect Him to look at us and say those things? I am not saying He wouldn't - I am saying that at some deep level, we believe that he couldn't or wouldn't. I lived with it for years... He was Out There somewhere, and I couldn't even see myself, so how could He see me?
We have to set aside the concept of looking for that person or thing that's over there, invisibly watching us from the sofa, and take a few quiet moments and look deep inside our own selves. Most of us are scared to death to do that, but hey - if you believe in the Man, you believe He doesn't make mistakes... and if he made You, then You are one of his perfect creations... And if you are, then you can find some part of Him down in there - even if somehow life's buried it under many layers of 'stuff' that you may never hope to wade through.
When I grew to the point that I could look in the mirror with some semblance of self respect, I began to see the Good in me... that is, the God in me. (side note - I am not a God... just an ordinary human... I am referring here to the spark of divinity that is present inside of us all - the good center of our soul that we bury very deeply underneath all the layers. (Yes, Shrek fans, I AM an ogre)).
Anyhow, I am going off on a tangent, which I occasionally do. I wanted to quote something from one of his sermons:
And I have this vision of a life that goes along, in a humdrum fashion, little ups and downs, but essentially neither good nor bad:
This could be called 'drifting along'.
Then one day when we least expect it, the nose-dive occurs:
Something happens to take us down a few notches... It could be our own fault, or someone elses, or no ones... but none of that even matters. It is what it is. It is life. Life happens... And usually, for a reason, even if we don't understand it.
So sometimes this 'Crash Boom' period may go on for hours, days, months, even years... We slowly but surely climb out of this pit... And if we earnestly try to do so, we'll be finding ourselves, maybe rather suddenly, in a new place:
As I told my son... If he hadn't done the 'crash boom' and learned a lot of stuff along the way, he'd never have reached the place where he is today. He's still got a long ways to go, but then so do the rest of us.... But what happened then was then, it isn't today. In his situation, that was past history. It was dead. Today is what today is. Dwelling on the past accomplished nothing... Looking ahead to the future is practical. But Being in today, with it's ups and downs, accepting that it isn't all your fault or anyone else's... it's just LIFE. Part of being human.
That's what it's all about. Accepting that "It's All Good."
We've been studying Meister Eckhart, who was ex-communicated from the Catholic church for heresy, shortly after his death a few hundred years ago... Many of the things he said and did were contrary to the powers-that-be of the day... and made people angry. He talked, as a priest, to the ordinary folks in their own tongue... In ways that they could understand... He said things like that they could find God within themselves...The Church didn't like that - their path was through the priest...
And truthfully, we can all look for God "out there" but .. he's "in here", and has been all along... If we can't find Peace, how can we find Him? If we can't look in the mirror and say I love you, I respect you, how can we expect Him to look at us and say those things? I am not saying He wouldn't - I am saying that at some deep level, we believe that he couldn't or wouldn't. I lived with it for years... He was Out There somewhere, and I couldn't even see myself, so how could He see me?
We have to set aside the concept of looking for that person or thing that's over there, invisibly watching us from the sofa, and take a few quiet moments and look deep inside our own selves. Most of us are scared to death to do that, but hey - if you believe in the Man, you believe He doesn't make mistakes... and if he made You, then You are one of his perfect creations... And if you are, then you can find some part of Him down in there - even if somehow life's buried it under many layers of 'stuff' that you may never hope to wade through.
When I grew to the point that I could look in the mirror with some semblance of self respect, I began to see the Good in me... that is, the God in me. (side note - I am not a God... just an ordinary human... I am referring here to the spark of divinity that is present inside of us all - the good center of our soul that we bury very deeply underneath all the layers. (Yes, Shrek fans, I AM an ogre)).
Anyhow, I am going off on a tangent, which I occasionally do. I wanted to quote something from one of his sermons:
It is my custom to say - and it is a fact - that every day we shout and plead in the Lord's Prayer: "Thy will be done!" - and when his will is done, we grumble and are not pleased with it. Whatever he does, we should be glad, and those who are will always live in peace. Sometimes you think or say "Ah - but it would have been so much better otherwise," or "if that hadn't happened, this would have turned out so much better." As long as you see it that way, there is no peace for you. You must take everything for the best.My son and I had a chat a week or so ago about 'something bad' in his past. I made reference to what I supposed it might have been... and he said he couldn't believe he had made such a horrible mistake.
And I have this vision of a life that goes along, in a humdrum fashion, little ups and downs, but essentially neither good nor bad:
Then one day when we least expect it, the nose-dive occurs:
So sometimes this 'Crash Boom' period may go on for hours, days, months, even years... We slowly but surely climb out of this pit... And if we earnestly try to do so, we'll be finding ourselves, maybe rather suddenly, in a new place:
As I told my son... If he hadn't done the 'crash boom' and learned a lot of stuff along the way, he'd never have reached the place where he is today. He's still got a long ways to go, but then so do the rest of us.... But what happened then was then, it isn't today. In his situation, that was past history. It was dead. Today is what today is. Dwelling on the past accomplished nothing... Looking ahead to the future is practical. But Being in today, with it's ups and downs, accepting that it isn't all your fault or anyone else's... it's just LIFE. Part of being human.
That's what it's all about. Accepting that "It's All Good."
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Proactivity
I wrote this in the van the other day... waiting at the school for someone to come out... I had to search for a piece of paper, and settled upon a paint chip-type paper from Home Depot where we had been looking at paints... It was written around the margins of a table of different type of paints - I should scan in the original. I went all the way around it by the time I finished.
These thoughts are raw and unfinished... Reflections on past and present and my own life experiences.
There's something here, more to be said... but for now I'll say what I wrote there, in the cold car.
At this point, I quit writing. The margins on the paint card were covered and it was time to drive away.
I suppose the point of this rambling is pretty obvious... but I'll say that it is all too easy to get into a 'reactive' rut... Getting out is harder than it would seem. As an example, I've spent the last two years paying every extra dime toward debt. I haven't bought camera stuff... I haven't bought computer stuff - except parts for my son's computer (that he paid most of). I am using an old, old TV. I have bought some shoes, in the past month or two - a 9.99 clearance K-Mart and a nice pair of hikers and Kohls that was half off... I've bought a couple of pairs of work pants and a few months ago I replaced some jeans that were ripping at the crotch.
Compared to a year and a half ago, my monthly budget for dining out is half what it was then, and now I feed 4 to 6 whereas then it might have been mostly me, at lunchtimes... What do I have to show for all this? Well, leading up to it, I started tracking my pennies... I figured out where every time was spent... after doing this for 2 or 3 months, I realized those two or three trips a week out to eat at lunchtime because I was too lazy to pack was adding up. Sure the Buffalo Chicken Salad at Santos pizza with a drink is only $7.20 with tax. Or a $2 meal at Taco Bell is $2.30 with tax. Or $5 or so at Wendys... But spread over a month's time, along with the occasional 'family outings' I was spending too much on those things.
I also started tracking how much I pay in interest every month, on debt... that one's interesting... and it is this subject that started this ramble... over a lot of years my household racked up a ton of debt. Mind-bogglingly huge amounts of it. To the point that in 2006, we had a house payment (balance of $121,000), a car payment (balance of $10,600), and a bit of other unsecured loan/credit card debt (about $65000).
I did not get there alone... I had a decent job but we spent way more than we earned... there were years where my paycheck was the only income - but we lived as if we made three times as much as we did. I wrestled with the debt companies, and lowered interest rates where possible... but at that point, the three credit cards from Citibank were each charging more than 30% interest... Around $25,000 in Citibank credit cards... That was about $625 in interest just on those three accounts every month. We'd make a minimum payment and find the balance went down by $5.
I finally quit paying till they negotiated payments... then paid for a couple of years at 9.9% interest... Finally all the other debt caught up with us in 2008 and gas went up to almost $4 a gallon and income dropped... We quit paying the Citibank cards altogether... I figured I had paid them many times over anything that had ever been charged to them. By the time they were charged off there was a bit over $18000 left on them.
I don't recommend this for other people, but at the time we risked losing our house... We had no money... When I separated from my then wife and took the lion's share of the bills as my own, I caught up everything and started paying them on time every time... except Citibank... they were dead. I had no interest in paying them a dime, ever again. I paid my debt down by over $20,000 in the past year, and managed to get some money into a Health Savings Account in case any future medical emergencies come up. I paid off a zero interest orthodontics account, an almost 30% interest credit card, an American Express card that was in a bad way… a credit union loan (that I then replaced with a car loan after I remarried – the only new debt I have – a lower interest, lower payment, lower balance loan). Early in that time, I withdrew money from my 401k and took a huge tax hit, but caught up the house payment, and later I paid off a 401k loan and then took a new one (borrowing from my retirement account means I pay money back to me instead of a bank). I did everything I had to do to get rid of the beast… that nasty burden of debt.
Today I only have the house payment, and the two car payments, and the remaining smallish balances on a Discover and Dell account. I have and need no other credit.
And, unfortunately, the skeleton in the closet – Citibank. They’re evil. The corporate giant that believes when people can’t pay their bills, you must punish them and make them pay even more. Squeeze every last penny out of them. I am lucky though, my accounts were at 35% and more in interest, but some people have had even worse experiences (ref this article that describes a customer paying 54%). The government had to “bail them out” because too many customers like me defaulted… after paying hundreds of dollars per month for many, many months (two of the three accounts dated back to 1993).
But here I am… home mortgage interest rates aren’t quite still at all time lows, but they’re still low compared to when I got my mortgage. I have two bedrooms and a family room to finish downstairs, but little money each month to spend on it so after 8 months of marriage, my stepdaughters still have no bedrooms to sleep in each night. I decided to pursue a refinance application.
I have a VA loan on my house, which makes refinancing relatively easy, although not particularly cheap (there are fees involved)... There's enough equity in the house to get some cash back... One ‘gotcha’ that they gave me was that Citibank had to be paid off.
This is where one step forward feels like two steps back… I’ve worked so long and hard to pay down my debt, but here I go, looking to run it back up again. I consider Citibank dead, but sooner or later they’ll come back to sue me or something… Or my kids will need student loans and we won’t be able to get them because of that. So I am going owe more on my house than I paid for it ten years ago. The end result: Hopefully, I’ll have a house payment and two car payments. The three Citibank accounts paid, the Discover and Dell paid. The minimum house payment will be less than on my current mortgage, thanks to the reduced interest rates – but the 16 years left on the original mortgage will now be 30 again. Evil Citibank will be gone… purged from my life for good.
And at the interest rate of the new mortgage, if instead of paying my new “normal” monthly payment, I pay the amount I now pay to my current mortgage, plus the additional amount that I currently pay to Dell and Discover (which adds up to a hefty house payment BUT NO MORE THAN I PAY TODAY), the loan will be paid off in just under 15 years.
--- So in my prior reactive life, I’d be paying many thousands of dollars a year in interest and fees… In my newer proactive life, I am finding myself in better financial condition.
This ramble seems all about finances… but this story is only symbolic… symbolic of something much deeper.
It is a lifestyle thing. The sickness that was our finances was mirrored by the sickness in my soul.
Live within your means. Pay the mortgage first, the car payments second, and everything else, then buy food and gas. Yeah yeah yeah. All well and good.
But it means nothing. It’s just numbers. It’s just numbers.
Down under it all, there’s a transformative change going on, one that may take a lifetime to complete. I have found my soul, and my anam cara. I have found that living is worth it.
I go to church, unashamed to look Him in the eye. I sing when I feel like it, which is often. I have learned to skip.
I have friends, true, deep, lifelong friendships where before I isolated myself behind walls of ice.
I love. I live. I breathe. I feel.
I AM.
These thoughts are raw and unfinished... Reflections on past and present and my own life experiences.
There's something here, more to be said... but for now I'll say what I wrote there, in the cold car.
Living Reactively vs. Proactively.
Years of reacting to life events can leave one spent, utterly exhausted, in emotional or financial ruin. Taking steps to live a proactive lifestyle can have many varied returns - chiefly, Peace.
Correcting the mistakes of the past is often painful and arduous - but in doing so, you (and all those whom you touch) can reap the rewards. The trick to this lifestyle "change" is to take steps. MOVE!!!
At times it will seem like you are taking one step forward and then two steps back - but you will be moving!
And keep track of what's going on in front, around, behind you... Take off the blinders. If you can't change it, at least acknowledge it - that's the most important part.
At this point, I quit writing. The margins on the paint card were covered and it was time to drive away.
I suppose the point of this rambling is pretty obvious... but I'll say that it is all too easy to get into a 'reactive' rut... Getting out is harder than it would seem. As an example, I've spent the last two years paying every extra dime toward debt. I haven't bought camera stuff... I haven't bought computer stuff - except parts for my son's computer (that he paid most of). I am using an old, old TV. I have bought some shoes, in the past month or two - a 9.99 clearance K-Mart and a nice pair of hikers and Kohls that was half off... I've bought a couple of pairs of work pants and a few months ago I replaced some jeans that were ripping at the crotch.
Compared to a year and a half ago, my monthly budget for dining out is half what it was then, and now I feed 4 to 6 whereas then it might have been mostly me, at lunchtimes... What do I have to show for all this? Well, leading up to it, I started tracking my pennies... I figured out where every time was spent... after doing this for 2 or 3 months, I realized those two or three trips a week out to eat at lunchtime because I was too lazy to pack was adding up. Sure the Buffalo Chicken Salad at Santos pizza with a drink is only $7.20 with tax. Or a $2 meal at Taco Bell is $2.30 with tax. Or $5 or so at Wendys... But spread over a month's time, along with the occasional 'family outings' I was spending too much on those things.
I also started tracking how much I pay in interest every month, on debt... that one's interesting... and it is this subject that started this ramble... over a lot of years my household racked up a ton of debt. Mind-bogglingly huge amounts of it. To the point that in 2006, we had a house payment (balance of $121,000), a car payment (balance of $10,600), and a bit of other unsecured loan/credit card debt (about $65000).
I did not get there alone... I had a decent job but we spent way more than we earned... there were years where my paycheck was the only income - but we lived as if we made three times as much as we did. I wrestled with the debt companies, and lowered interest rates where possible... but at that point, the three credit cards from Citibank were each charging more than 30% interest... Around $25,000 in Citibank credit cards... That was about $625 in interest just on those three accounts every month. We'd make a minimum payment and find the balance went down by $5.
I finally quit paying till they negotiated payments... then paid for a couple of years at 9.9% interest... Finally all the other debt caught up with us in 2008 and gas went up to almost $4 a gallon and income dropped... We quit paying the Citibank cards altogether... I figured I had paid them many times over anything that had ever been charged to them. By the time they were charged off there was a bit over $18000 left on them.
I don't recommend this for other people, but at the time we risked losing our house... We had no money... When I separated from my then wife and took the lion's share of the bills as my own, I caught up everything and started paying them on time every time... except Citibank... they were dead. I had no interest in paying them a dime, ever again. I paid my debt down by over $20,000 in the past year, and managed to get some money into a Health Savings Account in case any future medical emergencies come up. I paid off a zero interest orthodontics account, an almost 30% interest credit card, an American Express card that was in a bad way… a credit union loan (that I then replaced with a car loan after I remarried – the only new debt I have – a lower interest, lower payment, lower balance loan). Early in that time, I withdrew money from my 401k and took a huge tax hit, but caught up the house payment, and later I paid off a 401k loan and then took a new one (borrowing from my retirement account means I pay money back to me instead of a bank). I did everything I had to do to get rid of the beast… that nasty burden of debt.
Today I only have the house payment, and the two car payments, and the remaining smallish balances on a Discover and Dell account. I have and need no other credit.
And, unfortunately, the skeleton in the closet – Citibank. They’re evil. The corporate giant that believes when people can’t pay their bills, you must punish them and make them pay even more. Squeeze every last penny out of them. I am lucky though, my accounts were at 35% and more in interest, but some people have had even worse experiences (ref this article that describes a customer paying 54%). The government had to “bail them out” because too many customers like me defaulted… after paying hundreds of dollars per month for many, many months (two of the three accounts dated back to 1993).
But here I am… home mortgage interest rates aren’t quite still at all time lows, but they’re still low compared to when I got my mortgage. I have two bedrooms and a family room to finish downstairs, but little money each month to spend on it so after 8 months of marriage, my stepdaughters still have no bedrooms to sleep in each night. I decided to pursue a refinance application.
I have a VA loan on my house, which makes refinancing relatively easy, although not particularly cheap (there are fees involved)... There's enough equity in the house to get some cash back... One ‘gotcha’ that they gave me was that Citibank had to be paid off.
This is where one step forward feels like two steps back… I’ve worked so long and hard to pay down my debt, but here I go, looking to run it back up again. I consider Citibank dead, but sooner or later they’ll come back to sue me or something… Or my kids will need student loans and we won’t be able to get them because of that. So I am going owe more on my house than I paid for it ten years ago. The end result: Hopefully, I’ll have a house payment and two car payments. The three Citibank accounts paid, the Discover and Dell paid. The minimum house payment will be less than on my current mortgage, thanks to the reduced interest rates – but the 16 years left on the original mortgage will now be 30 again. Evil Citibank will be gone… purged from my life for good.
And at the interest rate of the new mortgage, if instead of paying my new “normal” monthly payment, I pay the amount I now pay to my current mortgage, plus the additional amount that I currently pay to Dell and Discover (which adds up to a hefty house payment BUT NO MORE THAN I PAY TODAY), the loan will be paid off in just under 15 years.
--- So in my prior reactive life, I’d be paying many thousands of dollars a year in interest and fees… In my newer proactive life, I am finding myself in better financial condition.
This ramble seems all about finances… but this story is only symbolic… symbolic of something much deeper.
It is a lifestyle thing. The sickness that was our finances was mirrored by the sickness in my soul.
Live within your means. Pay the mortgage first, the car payments second, and everything else, then buy food and gas. Yeah yeah yeah. All well and good.
But it means nothing. It’s just numbers. It’s just numbers.
Down under it all, there’s a transformative change going on, one that may take a lifetime to complete. I have found my soul, and my anam cara. I have found that living is worth it.
I go to church, unashamed to look Him in the eye. I sing when I feel like it, which is often. I have learned to skip.
I have friends, true, deep, lifelong friendships where before I isolated myself behind walls of ice.
I love. I live. I breathe. I feel.
I AM.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Matthew's Thorns
Editor's note: I started writing this back in November, then got busy. Jose aka 'Twomedicineman' prodded me because I haven't posted a blog in a while - and I remembered this, sitting unfinished on my laptop. So here I am, picking up where I left off...
This past weekend, we had a spiritual retreat, a “silent” retreat in which the folks participating are not supposed to talk from Friday evening till church at 11 Sunday morning. This is the second such retreat I’ve been involved in, and, like the first, there were some awakenings within.
Set the stage… Last Sunday evening, Pastor Bob met with us to give us a background… It is a reading, a parable, from Matthew 13…
"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.”
So Bob told us to consider these words, and then… don’t do the obvious – “Which ground am I???” but instead consider that “I am… all of them”. And what percentage of us are represented by each one of us these things? We were given fifteen or twenty minutes of quiet time to ponder this, to meditate, as it were... and then came back as a group to share (if we so desired) our thoughts on the subject.
For me, my initial short-term reaction was to quantify these things within me… Where I am today, but also, where I was, say, five years ago. Some of the things, to me, meant things totally different than they did to other people…. We have the will and the freedom to interpret things our own ways… I won’t tell you what my answers were. That isn’t important. What is important is that the good things are growing once again inside of me. (But why don't YOU share your thoughts, if you care to..)
Other people in the same group had very thoughtful answers, but so different from my own. Obviously, the ‘fertile ground’ is the place for growth, and what grows there can produce “a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown.” But what signified ‘good soil’? Or for that matter, what in our daily lives can be signified by the path, or thorns, or rocky places?
I would highly recommend this exercise… Take some quiet time, ponder it, think about what it means to you. Quantify it… what percentage of you is fertile soil, vs. the other alternatives?
Back to this weekend’s retreat… I had my camera with me and kept finding myself drawn to the oddest of things. Like a thorn on a wild rosebush, with a bit of vine curled up next to it. I took a photo of it, a macro closeup.
 |
| Thorns of a rosebush |
 |
| Thorn of a rosebush with a little tendril of vine, complete with shadow! |
There were other things I kept finding myself drawn to… But mostly, at that moment, thorns.
Funny thing is, I saw an ‘apple’ (or something that looked like one) stuck up in amongst some thorns in what appeared to be a locust tree…
Funny thing is, I saw an ‘apple’ (or something that looked like one) stuck up in amongst some thorns in what appeared to be a locust tree…
 |
| Apple-like 'fruit' up in the tree... there were a couple of them, but I am not sure what kind of tree it was. |
 |
| More thorns - definitely a locust of some sort. |
I saw red berries, interspersed with thorns…
 |
| Hawthorn, I think? |
There are those thorns again… all over the place… Much like the song, Every rose has its thorn.
But roses are beautiful, you say, and thorns are ugly. I say, thorns are NOT ugly – they are a part of the natural beauty of the landscape. Much like life, there are things that cause us pain, but they can be accompanied by the roses, as well. Sometimes we have to pay attention to what we'd ordinarily ignore to truly appreciate what we have. That maybe doesn't make much sense, but I know what I mean.
So then… what of our parable? It talks of seeds falling amongst the thorns (as if that’s a bad thing, and perhaps, it is… but the thorns CAN be nice…) I won't continue my thoughts, here, now... but if you comment enough, and leave enough feedback to show me that someone is interested in the subject, I'll follow up this post with another one... delving into my initial reactions and answers to the problem posed... and then my very different reactions and thoughts that were reached at the end of the retreat.
But that'll wait for another day... for now, I hope you've enjoyed sharing my 'thorns' with me. :)
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Heart of Stone
Editorial note. I am not sure when I wrote this, but I am thinking it dates back to around 1990 or so. I rather think this was around 1991 or 1992 after I'd been in the Air Force awhile and was getting homesick. It was a single sit-down writing exercise, with no point to it to start with, and as such, is not very fluid, or flowing... And if I were writing it today, I'd change wording here and there, fix grammer, make it better... but in the end, the conclusions I came to in my expression still hold true. I'll leave it exactly as I wrote it, except to allow Word's spell corrector to fix a few mistyped words here and there.
Take it for what it's worth... Ponder it. See how much stone YOU have left in your heart, in your life.For crying out loud. This has been the fourth time this week that a cop has pulled me over. The first time was for a broken tail light. Then came two speeding tickets. What this time?
Well, here comes the cop. This doesn’t look good. With a name like Butkowski, and the size and demeanor of Rambo, it looks like I’m in trouble.
He says I ran a stop sign. He didn’t think it was too funny when I assured him that I would stop twice next time. So far this week’s tickets have totaled about four hundred dollars.
Well, like the guy on the radio is singing, I’m in between a rock and a heartache. If I don’t pay the tickets, then I’ll be stuck in jail. And I definitely don’t have the money. Not that much, anyway.
I guess it has been fun around here, but it is time to move on. I believe I’ll leave tomorrow and head for home. It has been about seven years since I’ve been back.
Pamela won’t understand why I must go. She’ll insist on paying for the tickets, but what she doesn’t realize is that that will cure the symptoms, not the disease. I’m homesick, and I’ve been awfully restless for a long time.
I wonder what Mom is doing today? I’ll have to call her and find out when I get home.
Pam is putting out her laundry. I might as well tell her now that I have decided to move on.
I knew that she would be upset, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. It might be a cruel attitude to have, but I guess life is full of heartache so you might as well give some as well as receive.
Well, I’m all packed up and ready to hit the road. Pam waves goodbye as I pull out. I begin to have second thoughts, but there’s no turning back.
I have now been driving for ten straight hours. I guess it’ll take about three more to get home. All of a sudden, this big tanker truck pulls into my lane, forcing my pickup into the guardrail. It was horrible, like a meat grinder. Needless to say, there’s not much left of me. I am dead, but as I now realize, that is only a technicality, as I can do more now than ever before.
I saw Mom today for the first time. What I mean is, on this side of life you see people as they really are, not as they appear. I never knew Mom was so beautiful. And some of the people I always really looked up to are no better than the ones who I always knew were bad characters. In fact, they are lower than low, because they have fooled so many people while the average bad person is at least honest about it.
I have also learned a lot about myself. I am not an entirely clean person myself. I have experienced degrading thoughts at times, but now I know that that is only normal. Very few people are perfect in every way, and those few people are very special.
I am a long way from that point, but I hope that people like me for being me, not for my money or possessions, of which I have very few.
Louis L’amour, one of my life-long heroes, I have met up here, and yes, he is still writing books!
The Earth is a lot different from what any mortal man could ever imagine. All of these religions and even the new age movements, are spreading a certain amount of good throughout the Earth, but there is not one true religion. All I can say is, live your life by letting your conscience be your guide. If you do not follow your conscience, then you are nothing. Literally.
Every lie you tell, at least when it goes against the grain, or every other act which you know is wrong, but do anyway, each thing chips away at your soul.
To best describe it, imagine a block of stone, one foot square. Every person is born with this object in their heart. Some people, at an early age, have other folks chipping pieces of stone off the block. This is parents who demoralize and abuse their children. Many of these children do not have a chance, for by the time they are adults the block is only about one inch square.
On the other hand, the block can grow. If someone who has a battered and beaten block of stone finds someone who accepts them and loves them, then sometimes the outside love adds mortar to the block, often making it better than it ever was before.
When you hear the term “Heart of Gold” applied to a person, then that person usually has a figurative block that is at least 10 inches square. Although everyone starts out with an even foot square, as the newborn innocence wears off, some of the stone rubs off. It is normal.
Some people, very few people, have absolutely no stone left in their hearts at the deathbed. These people are lost, as only good passes beyond the grave.
A vast majority of others, myself included, reach this place with at least a small part of their identity washed away. Only the good that was in them remains.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Repost: Bicycle Safety
Originally Posted October 5, 2005, a time when I had realized that things in my own life needed to change, but when I was 'stuck' and unable to make those changes. Things are good... We need not regret the past, we need to concentrate on shaping a better tomorrow.........
One of the most confusing things, as a parent, is teaching our kids about "right" and "wrong". It is easy to say, if it goes against the 10 Commandments, then it is wrong. But, is that enough? No, in this world, we have many rights and wrongs. Like "white lies", where you tell someone something to protect their feelings. Strictly speaking, is it right or wrong to say, "Well, it isn't so bad....", when you really don't like it?
On a more personal level, with children, is winning and losing. It's good to win, and bad to lose. But, at the same time, it seems like some kids win all the time, and some kids lose all the time. Truthfully, no one wins ALL the time, at everything, but, sometimes it seems like they do. So, how do you tell a child who has lost, yet again, that it is all right? That losing can be a good thing? That they did the best they could, and everything is going to be okay... Through their tears, their pain and humiliation, they do not want to hear this. How can anything be "right"?
In Scouts, we had a state police officer come and give a safety lecture and demonstration. He talked about bicycle safety. It's pretty apparent why helmets are a good thing, even common sense. But, how do you explain to a child, that when you're walking up the road, you should walk on the "left" side of the road, instead of the "right" side? But, when you're riding a bicycle, you must obey vehicular laws, and ride on the "right" side, and not the "left" side?
The reasons for this are that when you're riding, you are, in effect, on a moving vehicle, and subject to the laws that apply to moving vehicles. On a bicycle, you should stop at stop signs, use a turn signal or hand signals to indicate which way you are turning, etc. Also, it would be dangerous to top a hill on a busy or even remote street, and meet oncoming traffic while riding your bike. But, when you're walking, you need to be able to see ahead of you, so you can get out of the way, in case someone is coming toward you.
It all goes back to safety first. There are times, while walking, that we will cross to the right side of the road, like on a blind curve or hill, where no one can see what is coming, and people drive too fast, causing dangerous conditions for the walker. In general, however, we follow the law and walk up the left side of the road, and as cars come toward us, we move to the edge of the road, and they tend to veer toward the middle, and all is well.
Going back to "rights and wrongs", to explain bicycle and walking safety to my kids, I tried to make it as clear as possible. "When walking, right is wrong, and left is right. But, when riding, right is right, and left is wrong." I think they get it.
In life, how do we so clearly explain things? Often it is just as hard. Our greatest way of teaching our children is by setting examples. Therefore, they see us doing something, they deem it acceptable, and do the same things. So, if we shout a lot, the kids will tend to shout a lot. If we complain a lot, the kids will tend to complain a lot. If we pray a lot, the kids will tend to pray a lot. If we wear smiles on our faces every day, our children will tend to wear smiles.
But, what happens when it seems like everything is wrong? Like when you're in a race, and you lose? You hold up your head, and say "Congratulations" to the winner, and life goes on. What happens when you're in a situation where there are no winners? When something ends, like when their Grandfather dies, perhaps? How do you tell a child that there is any "right" in this? You say, "Grandpa is in heaven." but is that really very meaningful to a child? He has just lost his best friend.
I suppose we could distract them, by teaching them bicycle safety...
But there is no "right" anywhere that will bring back something that is gone forever. And this is one of the hardest lessons to learn, as a child or an adult. You can pretend that everything is "right" and just continue to go on, pretending, forever. But, to fix the wrongs and make them right, means to truly come to accept that some things just are not "right". Then you must not only accept this awareness that they are not "right", and cannot be, but also become aware that life goes on. There's a future there, that each and every one of us contributes to. And that if things are not, and cannot be "right" the way they are today, then it's our job to build a better tomorrow. For when everything else is "wrong", there are still "right things" inside of us.
Through faith, hope, and love, we can each help to bring about a better tomorrow. No matter how bad today is, there is always hope for tomorrow. If we have faith in ourselves, and in the world around us, even God, then we can work to make a better tomorrow. And through companionship, though love, we can strengthen the faith and hope inside us. And, maybe, despite the "wrong" of today, we can reshape tomorrow, where we'll wake up and find "right" in our world.
One of the most confusing things, as a parent, is teaching our kids about "right" and "wrong". It is easy to say, if it goes against the 10 Commandments, then it is wrong. But, is that enough? No, in this world, we have many rights and wrongs. Like "white lies", where you tell someone something to protect their feelings. Strictly speaking, is it right or wrong to say, "Well, it isn't so bad....", when you really don't like it?
On a more personal level, with children, is winning and losing. It's good to win, and bad to lose. But, at the same time, it seems like some kids win all the time, and some kids lose all the time. Truthfully, no one wins ALL the time, at everything, but, sometimes it seems like they do. So, how do you tell a child who has lost, yet again, that it is all right? That losing can be a good thing? That they did the best they could, and everything is going to be okay... Through their tears, their pain and humiliation, they do not want to hear this. How can anything be "right"?
In Scouts, we had a state police officer come and give a safety lecture and demonstration. He talked about bicycle safety. It's pretty apparent why helmets are a good thing, even common sense. But, how do you explain to a child, that when you're walking up the road, you should walk on the "left" side of the road, instead of the "right" side? But, when you're riding a bicycle, you must obey vehicular laws, and ride on the "right" side, and not the "left" side?
The reasons for this are that when you're riding, you are, in effect, on a moving vehicle, and subject to the laws that apply to moving vehicles. On a bicycle, you should stop at stop signs, use a turn signal or hand signals to indicate which way you are turning, etc. Also, it would be dangerous to top a hill on a busy or even remote street, and meet oncoming traffic while riding your bike. But, when you're walking, you need to be able to see ahead of you, so you can get out of the way, in case someone is coming toward you.
It all goes back to safety first. There are times, while walking, that we will cross to the right side of the road, like on a blind curve or hill, where no one can see what is coming, and people drive too fast, causing dangerous conditions for the walker. In general, however, we follow the law and walk up the left side of the road, and as cars come toward us, we move to the edge of the road, and they tend to veer toward the middle, and all is well.
Going back to "rights and wrongs", to explain bicycle and walking safety to my kids, I tried to make it as clear as possible. "When walking, right is wrong, and left is right. But, when riding, right is right, and left is wrong." I think they get it.
In life, how do we so clearly explain things? Often it is just as hard. Our greatest way of teaching our children is by setting examples. Therefore, they see us doing something, they deem it acceptable, and do the same things. So, if we shout a lot, the kids will tend to shout a lot. If we complain a lot, the kids will tend to complain a lot. If we pray a lot, the kids will tend to pray a lot. If we wear smiles on our faces every day, our children will tend to wear smiles.
But, what happens when it seems like everything is wrong? Like when you're in a race, and you lose? You hold up your head, and say "Congratulations" to the winner, and life goes on. What happens when you're in a situation where there are no winners? When something ends, like when their Grandfather dies, perhaps? How do you tell a child that there is any "right" in this? You say, "Grandpa is in heaven." but is that really very meaningful to a child? He has just lost his best friend.
I suppose we could distract them, by teaching them bicycle safety...
But there is no "right" anywhere that will bring back something that is gone forever. And this is one of the hardest lessons to learn, as a child or an adult. You can pretend that everything is "right" and just continue to go on, pretending, forever. But, to fix the wrongs and make them right, means to truly come to accept that some things just are not "right". Then you must not only accept this awareness that they are not "right", and cannot be, but also become aware that life goes on. There's a future there, that each and every one of us contributes to. And that if things are not, and cannot be "right" the way they are today, then it's our job to build a better tomorrow. For when everything else is "wrong", there are still "right things" inside of us.
Through faith, hope, and love, we can each help to bring about a better tomorrow. No matter how bad today is, there is always hope for tomorrow. If we have faith in ourselves, and in the world around us, even God, then we can work to make a better tomorrow. And through companionship, though love, we can strengthen the faith and hope inside us. And, maybe, despite the "wrong" of today, we can reshape tomorrow, where we'll wake up and find "right" in our world.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Happy Birthday Kate
Happy Birthday Kate!!
Spent several hours in the ER last evening with Miss Kate. She's great... hurting a little from 19 stitches, but otherwise okay. She was getting off of something and an old empty aquarium was below her so she put her foot on ... err.... through it...
The really cool thing is (well... okay, nothing's too cool about getting hurt the day before your birthday (Today is Kate's birthday - be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday!!)) she remained calm and level headed through it all. And there were some nasty cuts - the glass got her from both sides. But although it looked bad, it wasn't deep enough to sever arteries or anything... The only time she really got upset was when the doc shot her up with the anesthesia (and even then she didn't over-react.. but she sure told him about it!!) I am proud of my girl's way of handling it... And glad Ms. Robin was there when it happened (and glad I was only about 5 minutes away). She kept everyone calm and got the foot unwedged by pulling the glass away on one side so she could get her leg out of it on the other side. Robin's daughter called me and I got my giddy-up go in gear and got home fast, and we turned around and went back to the ER within a couple minutes of getting there.
The important thing is she's all right... Happy Birthday Kate... I love you!
Spent several hours in the ER last evening with Miss Kate. She's great... hurting a little from 19 stitches, but otherwise okay. She was getting off of something and an old empty aquarium was below her so she put her foot on ... err.... through it...
The really cool thing is (well... okay, nothing's too cool about getting hurt the day before your birthday (Today is Kate's birthday - be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday!!)) she remained calm and level headed through it all. And there were some nasty cuts - the glass got her from both sides. But although it looked bad, it wasn't deep enough to sever arteries or anything... The only time she really got upset was when the doc shot her up with the anesthesia (and even then she didn't over-react.. but she sure told him about it!!) I am proud of my girl's way of handling it... And glad Ms. Robin was there when it happened (and glad I was only about 5 minutes away). She kept everyone calm and got the foot unwedged by pulling the glass away on one side so she could get her leg out of it on the other side. Robin's daughter called me and I got my giddy-up go in gear and got home fast, and we turned around and went back to the ER within a couple minutes of getting there.
The important thing is she's all right... Happy Birthday Kate... I love you!
Friday, April 02, 2010
Betrayal
So I went to my first Maundy Thursday church service last evening. It was interesting - held by candlelight at tables in the large Sunday School room instead of the sanctuary. A ritual celebrating the Last Supper. There were readings, and hymns... One of the companions of Robin and I, someone I've gotten to know somewhat over the past few months, was reading along with the liturgical response, and singing the hymns. When we got to the story of Jesus' betrayal, and a hymn was sung about "I am the betrayer... I have betrayed thee."
She seemed to stumble a bit there, as, admittedly, I did. It was a reference to the betrayal of Jesus by Judas and the abandonment of him by the rest of the disciples.... But it was sung in the first person... implying that the singer IS the betrayer.
Neither she nor I get too caught up in the details of the "Jesus Story". I have read most of the bible, probably 80-85% of it, so I have a good understanding of the stories and history. But there's so much more to Good than reading the words, or The Word, as some call it. Regardless of that, we do attend church most Sundays and worship. We're lucky enough to have a pastor who reaches beyond the words to try to bring the Message to life.
It's not about all the technical details. There are "inspired" stories throughout the Old and New Testaments that were written by human beings. And centuries later, translated by other human beings into new languages, including English. Many people use the King James translations as the One True Gospel... It was written in the 1600's, and commissioned by King James of England. To quote one source, "James gave the translators instructions intended to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its beliefs about an ordained clergy."
Interestingly enough, politics played a huge role in that translation of the Bible. And know what? It DOESN'T MATTER. No matter which translation you use, the Golden Rule is still the Golden Rule. The story of the Good Samaritan is still the story of the Good Samaritan. It is not about the words, it is about the Message.
For example, we could spend weeks or even months discussing Revelations... and unless we are living in a world where we do Good Things because we live in fear of some future action against us if we sin, then it's all pointless. It's good to understand the book, to read it, but in the end, if we focus too much time and energy on it, then we have wasted a great deal of ourselves on this pursuit. We need to live right because it's the right thing to do.
I'll say again, "...unless we are living in a world where we do Good Things because we live in fear of some future action against us if we sin, then it's all pointless." All the studying of the technical details of what may come to pass in the future is pointless. My opinion... Just my opinion. You should know the story and have a grasp of what it means, but in the end, we must strive to live right for the right reasons.
Think about that for a minute. IF we are living Good Lives because we are forced to do so by our fear of Hell, or because God wants us to, or because doing so will earn us all the milk and honey and mansions of heaven, then we've missed the boat entirely. What we need to do is to live the Good Life because it is the Right Thing, not for some reward or punishment.
Those things are there, yes... but inside each and every one of us is a little voice, a voice of reason, a voice of conscience, the voice of the Divine, that if we will listen, if we can free ourselves from the distractions of our world, and disentangle ourselves from the cages of words that the church and the bible and society have built around us.. If we can do good things because they are the right things to do, then we're on the right track.
And the Bible and the Church are great places to start. They are a roadmap to a Better Place. But if we keep looking down at the road beneath our feet, then we'll never be able to see up ahead to where we're headed. We need to forget for a moment where we are and just BE.
And then there's Maundy Thursday. Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? Think about it.
Since this is a somewhat biblical essay, let us return to the roadmap of Christianity, the Bible.
In Romans, there's a section that discusses right and wrong and those who are strong or weak. In effect, it says, "If you are strong in faith, and you believe that it is okay to eat meat or drink wine, then do so. It's okay - you aren't sinning if you do so. But if your brother, your neighbor, is weak in faith, and feels like it is wrong to eat meat, or drink wine, and does so anyways, then he IS sinning. Don't judge him for being different. But if you, in your actions, lead him to do something that in his mind is wrong, then you are wrong, too."
Romans 14:1-4
Romans 14:13-15
Romans 14:19-23
And most importantly:
Romans 14:17
Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? Think about it again.....
I have only given some exerpts of this sermon from Paul. But there are a few object lessons here. One of them is to quit judging others. Really. What another person does is between that person, and his Creator. YOU have nothing at all to do with it. That person will make mistakes. You will, too. In the end it's between them and God.
We all want to live good lives. We all want to be better people. But have you never gone against that little voice in the back of your mind, and done something that deep down inside you thought was wrong? Did someone say, "C'mon, do this..." and you did it, even though they thought it was okay, and you thought it was bad?
If you did, then you betrayed your Inner Voice. That Whisper of the Divine that can guide you through right and wrong.
I have been there, and done that. It isn't always a fellow person who leads you astray. Sometimes, we have two Inner Voices... You have the Divine that says, "Do what is right, do what is healthy, do what is Good..." and then the voice of the Profane, that says, "It's okay... everybody does it."
At some point or other, we have all listened to the Profane, whether that was an inner voice, or the voice of our Brother or Sister or anyone else in our lives.
It is not for us to judge the other for the faults that we imagine them to have. It is not for US to judge anyone. We must learn to do for ourselves, to Be for ourselves. To strengthen our own faith in ourselves and the Divine. To search for Peace and Joy. "..it is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness.", or as I prefer, Right.
Do it because it is Right for you. Period. By all means, guide your friend, be there, but do not become the person who makes them stumble because your standards are different than his.
Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? For me, it's because I don't want to be the betrayer. I also don't want to be the betrayed. But at various times in my life, I have found myself in both roles. I am Human.
One of the most important life lessons I have learned can be summed up in this short phrase, "He was a good person in a bad place." Remember, when you find yourself realizing that you have been the betrayer, or the betrayed... You are Human.
Chances are, the other is, too. It does not make either of you a bad person. Just a good one in a bad place. The important thing is to look forward, look ahead, to a better place. Find the path to Peace, and Joy, and Right.
And feel free to sing along with the hymns, even when they make you uncomfortable.
She seemed to stumble a bit there, as, admittedly, I did. It was a reference to the betrayal of Jesus by Judas and the abandonment of him by the rest of the disciples.... But it was sung in the first person... implying that the singer IS the betrayer.
Neither she nor I get too caught up in the details of the "Jesus Story". I have read most of the bible, probably 80-85% of it, so I have a good understanding of the stories and history. But there's so much more to Good than reading the words, or The Word, as some call it. Regardless of that, we do attend church most Sundays and worship. We're lucky enough to have a pastor who reaches beyond the words to try to bring the Message to life.
It's not about all the technical details. There are "inspired" stories throughout the Old and New Testaments that were written by human beings. And centuries later, translated by other human beings into new languages, including English. Many people use the King James translations as the One True Gospel... It was written in the 1600's, and commissioned by King James of England. To quote one source, "James gave the translators instructions intended to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its beliefs about an ordained clergy."
Interestingly enough, politics played a huge role in that translation of the Bible. And know what? It DOESN'T MATTER. No matter which translation you use, the Golden Rule is still the Golden Rule. The story of the Good Samaritan is still the story of the Good Samaritan. It is not about the words, it is about the Message.
For example, we could spend weeks or even months discussing Revelations... and unless we are living in a world where we do Good Things because we live in fear of some future action against us if we sin, then it's all pointless. It's good to understand the book, to read it, but in the end, if we focus too much time and energy on it, then we have wasted a great deal of ourselves on this pursuit. We need to live right because it's the right thing to do.
I'll say again, "...unless we are living in a world where we do Good Things because we live in fear of some future action against us if we sin, then it's all pointless." All the studying of the technical details of what may come to pass in the future is pointless. My opinion... Just my opinion. You should know the story and have a grasp of what it means, but in the end, we must strive to live right for the right reasons.
Think about that for a minute. IF we are living Good Lives because we are forced to do so by our fear of Hell, or because God wants us to, or because doing so will earn us all the milk and honey and mansions of heaven, then we've missed the boat entirely. What we need to do is to live the Good Life because it is the Right Thing, not for some reward or punishment.
Those things are there, yes... but inside each and every one of us is a little voice, a voice of reason, a voice of conscience, the voice of the Divine, that if we will listen, if we can free ourselves from the distractions of our world, and disentangle ourselves from the cages of words that the church and the bible and society have built around us.. If we can do good things because they are the right things to do, then we're on the right track.
And the Bible and the Church are great places to start. They are a roadmap to a Better Place. But if we keep looking down at the road beneath our feet, then we'll never be able to see up ahead to where we're headed. We need to forget for a moment where we are and just BE.
And then there's Maundy Thursday. Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? Think about it.
Since this is a somewhat biblical essay, let us return to the roadmap of Christianity, the Bible.
In Romans, there's a section that discusses right and wrong and those who are strong or weak. In effect, it says, "If you are strong in faith, and you believe that it is okay to eat meat or drink wine, then do so. It's okay - you aren't sinning if you do so. But if your brother, your neighbor, is weak in faith, and feels like it is wrong to eat meat, or drink wine, and does so anyways, then he IS sinning. Don't judge him for being different. But if you, in your actions, lead him to do something that in his mind is wrong, then you are wrong, too."
Romans 14:1-4
1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2 One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4 Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
Romans 14:13-15
13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14 As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15 If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.
Romans 14:19-23
19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. 22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
And most importantly:
Romans 14:17
17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? Think about it again.....
I have only given some exerpts of this sermon from Paul. But there are a few object lessons here. One of them is to quit judging others. Really. What another person does is between that person, and his Creator. YOU have nothing at all to do with it. That person will make mistakes. You will, too. In the end it's between them and God.
We all want to live good lives. We all want to be better people. But have you never gone against that little voice in the back of your mind, and done something that deep down inside you thought was wrong? Did someone say, "C'mon, do this..." and you did it, even though they thought it was okay, and you thought it was bad?
If you did, then you betrayed your Inner Voice. That Whisper of the Divine that can guide you through right and wrong.
I have been there, and done that. It isn't always a fellow person who leads you astray. Sometimes, we have two Inner Voices... You have the Divine that says, "Do what is right, do what is healthy, do what is Good..." and then the voice of the Profane, that says, "It's okay... everybody does it."
At some point or other, we have all listened to the Profane, whether that was an inner voice, or the voice of our Brother or Sister or anyone else in our lives.
It is not for us to judge the other for the faults that we imagine them to have. It is not for US to judge anyone. We must learn to do for ourselves, to Be for ourselves. To strengthen our own faith in ourselves and the Divine. To search for Peace and Joy. "..it is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness.", or as I prefer, Right.
Do it because it is Right for you. Period. By all means, guide your friend, be there, but do not become the person who makes them stumble because your standards are different than his.
Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? For me, it's because I don't want to be the betrayer. I also don't want to be the betrayed. But at various times in my life, I have found myself in both roles. I am Human.
One of the most important life lessons I have learned can be summed up in this short phrase, "He was a good person in a bad place." Remember, when you find yourself realizing that you have been the betrayer, or the betrayed... You are Human.
Chances are, the other is, too. It does not make either of you a bad person. Just a good one in a bad place. The important thing is to look forward, look ahead, to a better place. Find the path to Peace, and Joy, and Right.
And feel free to sing along with the hymns, even when they make you uncomfortable.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
One year ago, today...
A year ago today, my Mom went to heaven, or where ever it is that good souls go.
She was human, but she had made peace with herself, and with her Creator. Ten years before, she had written a letter to her children - just in case this day should come. At her service my brother Ron and I each spoke, and then her letter was read.
Our comments, followed by hers, is shared here. Her part was modified slightly - things HAD changed in 10 years, but the family details aren't important - the message is. Remember that when we are down and hurt and lonely, feeling forgotten, or just plain tired, there is a light out there, a hope, a better place, a better day. All is not lost. We have family, and sometimes they are our friends as much as our blood.
James:
Ron:
MESSAGE TO MY FAMILY
She was human, but she had made peace with herself, and with her Creator. Ten years before, she had written a letter to her children - just in case this day should come. At her service my brother Ron and I each spoke, and then her letter was read.
Our comments, followed by hers, is shared here. Her part was modified slightly - things HAD changed in 10 years, but the family details aren't important - the message is. Remember that when we are down and hurt and lonely, feeling forgotten, or just plain tired, there is a light out there, a hope, a better place, a better day. All is not lost. We have family, and sometimes they are our friends as much as our blood.
James:
I was fourteen and Ted had just turned sixteen a few days before our Dad died. Times were tough for awhile. I can remember not being able to stand sitting at home, and hearing all the talk, so I got up and went back to school.
The first day back, there must have been five hundred “I am so sorry”’s thrown my way. By the end of the day, I wanted to shout at them “Shut Up!”, but I just nodded my head and mumbled thanks, and went on.
And over the years, I have had a hard time dealing with death, whether that of a random stranger or that of someone close, it didn’t matter. I’ve lost a number of good friends, my grandpa, my baby.
And each time, I staggered with the weight.
Three or four years ago, I was friends with a black man at work, Al. Al was a father and a grandfather, always active in the community, in sports, loved by everyone around him. One day he had a heart attack, and was gone. I attended his service, and it was the first (and only) time I was at a service like that. There, they did mourn the loss of him for their sake, but I’d describe the whole affair as a celebration - a celebration of the life and the legacy that Al had lived and left behind. A celebration because they knew without a doubt that he was finally with his Creator, and happy, and free from the chains of this world. There was singing, much of it joyful and loud.
In a way, I think this, for me, was a life changing experience. It was the first time I had dealt or saw people deal with Death on friendly terms. It was just one step on my journey to understanding and becoming at peace with Death. I still don’t like it but that’s mostly a selfish reaction. Because I know my Dad, my grandpa, Al, and my Mom, and my nephews Carliss and Johnny, are in a place where there is no pain, no suffering, no sneezes or coughs, and no hatred.
Then there is this world left behind. How do we deal with this change?
I recently read a description of Celtic tradition that puts a few things into perspective for me. These words were written by an Irish Priest named John O’Donohue:
Ireland is a land of many ruins. Ruins are not empty. They are sacred places full of presence. A friend of mine, a priest, was going to build a parking lot outside his church. There was a ruin nearby that had been vacated for fifty or sixty years. He went to the man whose family had lived there long ago and asked the man to give him the stones for the foundation. The man refused. The priest asked why, and the man said, “What would the souls of my ancestors do then?” The implication was that even in this ruin long since vacated, the souls of those who had once lived there still had a particular affinity and attachment to this place. The life and passion of a person leave an imprint on the ether of a place. Love does not remain within the heart, it flows out to build secret tabernacles in a landscape.
Friday, when I got back home, I walked over to Mom’s, and there was the family, gathered around. Looking through books, talking, just being. I looked around for Mom and saw her everywhere. The life and passion of a person leave an imprint on the ether of a place. Love does not remain within the heart, it flows out to build secret tabernacles in a landscape. She was still there, within her house, but more importantly, within every one of us who remained behind.
It has taken many, many years to understand this. And even now, it’s a learning process. It’s easier to grasp with the mind than it is in the heart. But I do know that she is still here with us, and although today we may bury her physical remains in this sacred ritual, her soul and spirit is still alive and we will all carry on her legacy. She gave birth to six children, but was mother to many more. She will live far beyond our lifetimes, in the actions of our children and children’s children.
Ron:
When I was little, when all of us were little, Mom used to read to us. Sometimes she’d read with voices, making the words, the characters, real. Often she’d read of far away places, far away times, different worlds, either in the past or the future. She’d transport us to some new place, showing us the wide world long before we’d ever go out and explore it with our own eyes.
Her younger brother Ralph told us about when he was struggling in school, trying to learn to read. Mom went out and bought a set of books, and brought them home, and made him read to her every day. She’d stop him after every paragraph and make him explain to her what he’d just read. Eventually he, too, learned to love words and books.
Through her love for us, and her love for reading, she helped us become ready to face the big wide world. She also inspired us to be readers like her. She has indeed left a legacy for her children and her children’s children that will endure forever, in those left behind. All her kids have benefited from this legacy that she has started.
The new generation, our kids like Amber and Jacob, who love reading her books, and finding new books of their own, have been inspired by her passion for reading. The legacy will live on as long as we continue to be inspired by the things she has shown us. She taught us to love to read, but more importantly, she taught us to love.
Awhile back, she wrote a letter to us, and it started out like this, “Don’t grieve for me.” She realized that her time on earth is limited, and took the time to worry about those of us left behind. In the time since writing her letter, she stayed with us for awhile longer, but she was at peace with leaving.
Here is her letter…
MESSAGE TO MY FAMILY
Don't grieve for me when I've gone. I've lived a full life with all its ups and downs. Downs seem to last forever. But the up swings do wipe them out.
When one door shuts, others open which can lead to even better things than you think you want.
I count myself to have been greatly blessed in my children; all are people that I'd be honored to call my friends, even if we had no other bonds. In order of Birth:
The oldest one is only mine by courtesy. He was born to my late husband and his first wife. But I'm proud to call Larry Gene Wheeler “my son.” Larry is married to Pam and has no children.
The next three are my children by my former husband:
Barry Kent Craw is my first born. He is unmarried.
Ronnie Burns Craw is married to Tisha. He has three children by a former marriage Rhonda, Tiffany, and Stephen. Tisha has one child Nicholas.
Beth Ann Craw is married to Dennis and had one step-son Johnny. She has two daughters and a son: Amanda is married to Micah and has two daughters Ashley and Gracie. Amber is married to Tim, no children. Geoffrey is not married.
Next is Larry's sister, my step-daughter Diann (Wheeler) Godwin is married to Russ and has one son by a former marriage. I have been proud to have had her as my second daughter.
Next come my sons by my late husband Eugene Wheeler:
Teddy Eugene Wheeler is married to Geneva. He has three children by a former marriage Jacob, Johnny, Jacklynn. Geneva has two children Michael and Trevor.
James Arthur Wheeler is married to Vikki and has two children: Jeremy and Katherine (Kate).
All are good, decent, reliable people and are a joy to their mother’s heart. They are responsible hard working folks. Like everyone else I've traveled life's road. But my real blessing has always been my family. That has made it all worthwhile.
Do not grieve for me when I'm gone. Just go on raising good, decent children. Do so and all their lives they will be a blessing to all who know them.
And know that LOVE allows for all our quirks and honors us for them, and is made stronger by them. That is the very best way to honor my memory-not grief!
Just go on doing what you all do best: Be good decent human beings, who help to guide the next generation along those same lines.
And keep my love for you ever in your hearts.
MOM
Monday, March 15, 2010
Humans Against Dragon Stereotypes
Halifax Area School District information can be accessed via the web url of http://www.hasd.us
Of course, I am, once in a blue moon, dyslexic.
So of course, I typo it.
This site is much better anyways: http://www.hads.us .. errm.. that is to say, Humans Against Dragon Stereotypes. It's full of great information useful to all of us who have a general conservationist's view of the world, and wish to protect endangered species, and all (like the dragon).
Be sure to check it out.
Of course, I am, once in a blue moon, dyslexic.
So of course, I typo it.
This site is much better anyways: http://www.hads.us .. errm.. that is to say, Humans Against Dragon Stereotypes. It's full of great information useful to all of us who have a general conservationist's view of the world, and wish to protect endangered species, and all (like the dragon).
Be sure to check it out.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Project Gutenberg
I've been a fan for several years of the volunteers over at Project Gutenberg. They (and at this point it is they although at some point in time perhaps it'll be "we" if I ever volunteer time for it) have made a real effort to take writings that are considered to be in the "Public Domain" and create electronic versions of them that we can download either as .txt files, or browse via html pages, or in some cases, even posted as audiobooks.
ALL FOR FREE.
So next time you want to read an old book but have no money or time for the library (assuming it had that obscure text in the first place), go on over to gutenberg.org and check it out.
Some examples that I personally have read include Emerson's Essays and various writings by Mark Twain.
There are over 30,000 books available as of now, with over 100,000 available through the partners, affiliates and resources link.
There are some things about this format of reading this is a little awkward. From footnotes and copywrite notices and just plain old "looking at the screen" issues, but if you need to find a quick quote from an old book, this could be a good resource for you.
ALL FOR FREE.
So next time you want to read an old book but have no money or time for the library (assuming it had that obscure text in the first place), go on over to gutenberg.org and check it out.
Some examples that I personally have read include Emerson's Essays and various writings by Mark Twain.
There are over 30,000 books available as of now, with over 100,000 available through the partners, affiliates and resources link.
There are some things about this format of reading this is a little awkward. From footnotes and copywrite notices and just plain old "looking at the screen" issues, but if you need to find a quick quote from an old book, this could be a good resource for you.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
There
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
What does this mean to me? Well, when I was in the eighth or ninth grade, Mrs. Parker had us write an essay on any topic. I chose the golden rule. (See photo of Mrs. Parker looking at me for making a paper airplane in class).
I cannot remember exactly what words I used in the essay - but the gist of it was that I felt it was important to live by that rule. I really did, even as a teenager, treat those others who were around me with respect, whether they deserved it or not. Why not? What would it cost me?
The rewards, although not sought after, were plenty. Treat others with respect, and sometimes you'll be surprised at the results. You may find friends in the most unexpected of places. It doesn't matter that the Other is different from you, of a lower or higher class, intelligent or not. It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter if they're a jerk. It's been my experience that people are often jerks because they're unhappy or tense or because they don't realize they are. But me being a jerk back wouldn't help their situation in any way. Ever. So I treat them with respect. Over time, if I know them that long, sometimes I earn a grudging respect from them, even when others don't. Sometimes things never change, but ... Sometimes they do. But this isn't about the jerks we sometimes run into in life......
A few months ago, someone asked me to help them pick out a computer. I did so, then went and helped set it up. Whilst I was working on it, I was asked if I'd look at a neighbor's printer. I went over to the neighbor, and looked at the printer. There was nothing at all wrong with it - but the software they were using to print from would not wrap when it reached the edge of the page so the text would be cut off when sent to the printer. Internet Explorer 5 behaved that way, and upgrades were available all the way up to 8. I suggested they upgrade to 7 or 8 which would resize the page and print it properly, and for free, and then I left.
It turns out that when they updated that, they also upgraded something else (at my recommendation) that broke Windows totally. It was, I'd consider it, a manufacturing defect. The details aren't so important - the point was, they called me back and said, "We did what you suggested, and now our computer won't turn on." I looked at the company's website and the top listing for support for that model was a problem with doing the Windows upgrades having a conflict on that model. And a link to a fix. So I downloaded software and put it on a cd, and went and fixed the pc for them.
While I was there, we started talking about our hobbies and interests. She was into various papercrafts, cardmaking, and the like. While I am into photography. After I had her computer running again, I logged onto my page and showed her my favorite picture - and she recognized the church in the scene. She immediately went to the phone and called her friend, who was a member there, and described it to her.
Long story short, I donated a print to that friend, and showed her my book that I had published the year before. When she wanted one, I told her that I'd sell it to her for the regular price, but she could take $5 off the price and donate it to the church instead of me. It just seemed like the thing to do. Why not?
And as it turns out, she sold a copy here and there to several of her friends and fellow parishoners... In all, I sold 28 books through her. The $5 per copy that went back to the church was matched by another organization, and so the church earned $280 on the book sale! I originally offered the donation because I was moved to do so. The photo of that church moved me to explore photography in a more active way than ever before. It was the thing to do. Why not return $5 to the church that had helped inspire me to do more. It was the 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' mentality. And the $5 became $280 which made a real difference in their budget.
But rewind that a bit. The first request was from a friend to help with a computer problem. Then I met a friend of the friend, and then through her met a friend of the friend of my friend. And now because I have three friends (and more) instead of one, the church earned $280 towards some much needed repairs. And I made enough profit to pay for a few more copies that I gave to family as gifts.
I could have told my friend that I was too busy (and I was!!). But as a result of the investment, I made new friends, continued along my journey a few more steps... and the church benefitted.
And what started this ramble? Love. Yes, love. When you apply the golden rule to your life in a way that affects those around you, do so out of your heart, or don't bother. Don't do unto them because you are currying favor. Don't do for them because you want something. Don't care for someone in an attempt to make them care for you. Show respect, and express love, with no hope or desire for return. If you love them, help them repair their wings and fly. If they fly away, give thanks because they are able, and if they return and love you back then good. But don't do ANYTHING because you want something. Do it because you care.
After awhile, it can become a habit, a lifestyle. You may find yourself on the Road to... There.
And There is where we all need to try to be.
What does this mean to me? Well, when I was in the eighth or ninth grade, Mrs. Parker had us write an essay on any topic. I chose the golden rule. (See photo of Mrs. Parker looking at me for making a paper airplane in class).
I cannot remember exactly what words I used in the essay - but the gist of it was that I felt it was important to live by that rule. I really did, even as a teenager, treat those others who were around me with respect, whether they deserved it or not. Why not? What would it cost me?
The rewards, although not sought after, were plenty. Treat others with respect, and sometimes you'll be surprised at the results. You may find friends in the most unexpected of places. It doesn't matter that the Other is different from you, of a lower or higher class, intelligent or not. It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter if they're a jerk. It's been my experience that people are often jerks because they're unhappy or tense or because they don't realize they are. But me being a jerk back wouldn't help their situation in any way. Ever. So I treat them with respect. Over time, if I know them that long, sometimes I earn a grudging respect from them, even when others don't. Sometimes things never change, but ... Sometimes they do. But this isn't about the jerks we sometimes run into in life......
A few months ago, someone asked me to help them pick out a computer. I did so, then went and helped set it up. Whilst I was working on it, I was asked if I'd look at a neighbor's printer. I went over to the neighbor, and looked at the printer. There was nothing at all wrong with it - but the software they were using to print from would not wrap when it reached the edge of the page so the text would be cut off when sent to the printer. Internet Explorer 5 behaved that way, and upgrades were available all the way up to 8. I suggested they upgrade to 7 or 8 which would resize the page and print it properly, and for free, and then I left.
It turns out that when they updated that, they also upgraded something else (at my recommendation) that broke Windows totally. It was, I'd consider it, a manufacturing defect. The details aren't so important - the point was, they called me back and said, "We did what you suggested, and now our computer won't turn on." I looked at the company's website and the top listing for support for that model was a problem with doing the Windows upgrades having a conflict on that model. And a link to a fix. So I downloaded software and put it on a cd, and went and fixed the pc for them.
While I was there, we started talking about our hobbies and interests. She was into various papercrafts, cardmaking, and the like. While I am into photography. After I had her computer running again, I logged onto my page and showed her my favorite picture - and she recognized the church in the scene. She immediately went to the phone and called her friend, who was a member there, and described it to her.
Long story short, I donated a print to that friend, and showed her my book that I had published the year before. When she wanted one, I told her that I'd sell it to her for the regular price, but she could take $5 off the price and donate it to the church instead of me. It just seemed like the thing to do. Why not?
And as it turns out, she sold a copy here and there to several of her friends and fellow parishoners... In all, I sold 28 books through her. The $5 per copy that went back to the church was matched by another organization, and so the church earned $280 on the book sale! I originally offered the donation because I was moved to do so. The photo of that church moved me to explore photography in a more active way than ever before. It was the thing to do. Why not return $5 to the church that had helped inspire me to do more. It was the 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' mentality. And the $5 became $280 which made a real difference in their budget.
But rewind that a bit. The first request was from a friend to help with a computer problem. Then I met a friend of the friend, and then through her met a friend of the friend of my friend. And now because I have three friends (and more) instead of one, the church earned $280 towards some much needed repairs. And I made enough profit to pay for a few more copies that I gave to family as gifts.
I could have told my friend that I was too busy (and I was!!). But as a result of the investment, I made new friends, continued along my journey a few more steps... and the church benefitted.
And what started this ramble? Love. Yes, love. When you apply the golden rule to your life in a way that affects those around you, do so out of your heart, or don't bother. Don't do unto them because you are currying favor. Don't do for them because you want something. Don't care for someone in an attempt to make them care for you. Show respect, and express love, with no hope or desire for return. If you love them, help them repair their wings and fly. If they fly away, give thanks because they are able, and if they return and love you back then good. But don't do ANYTHING because you want something. Do it because you care.
After awhile, it can become a habit, a lifestyle. You may find yourself on the Road to... There.
And There is where we all need to try to be.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Shuttle Trip and Other Life Stuff
I've not been very active here for some months now. I am on a 'hiatus' as it were. Not gone, just temporarily absent. A lot of things going on in life, mostly pretty good overall. I have so much to tell you, and so little time.
One of these days, things will be 'normal' again, and in a better way than before. And when life does settle down a bit, then I plan to do some of the things I've flirted with over the past few years - to include more focus on the art of photography, and maybe even some sales... For the time being, I've closed my ebay shop. It was a nice experiment.
The books I put together have been a wonderful success - in terms of distribution. Considering it was a self-publishing effort, and I never sold ANY through the publishers website, and only sold through word-of-mouth, I did great. Enough to give several as gifts and still break even. I sold almost 100 books altogether, and at $60 a pop (expensive by my standards) that was saying something. And not a lot of effort went into it. (Read more here: A Window to My World)
As an, "Oh by the way" you should check out Karen Arnold's deviantArt website, as well as my own, if you're interested in the images in my book. Her collection of five paintings based on my photos may be found, along with many others, at http://buble.deviantart.com/gallery and my page, which has many images from Central PA, is at http://arkansawyer.deviantart.com/gallery .
The last wave of sales was a fundraiser for the church that is featured in the first section, where one of the members of the church stumbled upon my book. For every copy she sold, $5 of the purchase price went back to the church, and it turns out the Lutheran Brotherhood matched the donations dollar-for-dollar. So for 28 copies of the book that the church's members bought, the church itself earned $280, money which went directly toward fixing an old furnace that is used to heat the building. And the funny part of the story is that meeting Ms. Patrick in the first place was a total fluke, an accident, some would call it a coincidence.
And - that has been life over the past year. Full of interesting coincidences that have changed the landscape of my life dramatically. For the first time in 20 years as an adult, I finally have a plan for some of my future. It's not fully formed out, but I am working on it. From budgets that I've set and lived by for the past few months to try and reduce and eventually eliminate debt, to eating healthier to have a longer, happier life. And so much more. And you'll hear more about it as long as we remain friends... All I can say is that Good has entered my life - call it God, the Great Spirit, call it Love, or Grace, or anything you want... I am on a journey toward a better place, and although it's taken and will take awhile to get there, I will continue moving forward one step at a time... I've learned that it's not so much the destination that is important - it's the journey. And as long as I am moving forward with a purpose, instead of drifting with the current, then life is pretty good.
And there's my family... The purpose of this journal was to introduce my son. His nickname is Beanz. He's very active in various bands, including Marching Band, concert band, jazz band, county band, through his school. He's a bright and wonderful kid, if he can overcome his natural teenage tendencies to stay up late and procrastinate. :)
A few months ago, he was invited to participate in a summer trip with a small group of students to Florida, to watch one of the last two launches of the space shuttle, before the fleet is decommissioned. The selection was based on a polling of several teachers as to who should be nominated. Only those students who were selected by multiple teachers were considered.
I gave him two requirements to meet: 1) He had to bring his grades up - and with the marking period just past, he got Distinguished Honor Roll :dance:. And 2) He had to make some effort to do a fundraiser. I told him I'd match him dollar-for-dollar, but so far he hasn't made enough for the deposit. I suggested he start with a letter that I could post to my 'sites' and send out with Christmas cards. And there, I fell down on the job - I didn't even send out Christmas cards. Nor, till yesterday and today, did I post this online anywhere. (I did post a short version of this on Facebook - my page there is James Wheeler if you'd like to befriend me).
Here is Jeremy "Beanz" Wheeler's letter:
Hello!
Since most readers of this is family and friends close enough to be family, you probably know me. Yes, this your friendly cousin/nephew/grandson/friend, Jeremy Wheeler. Now, as many of you may or may not know, I have been selected for a special honor in my school. My math/physics teacher, Mr. Dwane Lahr, has selected a group of students, including me, to attend one of the final NASA space shuttle launches at the end of July next summer in Cape Canaveral, Florida. It is a special occasion that few will actually see close up, like we will. The space shuttle program is being abolished very soon, and is going to be replaced with the original rocket-based design for manned trips to extra-terrestrial bodies, like the Moon. The trip, which is five days long, is going to highlight two days at the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral. We will also spend a day to have fun, by going places such as Sea World, Orlando Studios, and/or Disney World. Two days are of course devoted to getting to and from Florida (probably by plane). A full document showing our plans and potential extras is shown at Shuttle Trip.
Here's the tricky part. The overall cost for the trip is estimated at around $600 per student. This price is all-inclusive, and covers everything but spending money for our free day. I am planning on getting a job to pay for part of this, on top of other things. Several involved parents are planning a fundraiser to help with the trip. The only thing is, my dad and I don't think it will be enough. I am asking for a small donation (it doesn't have to be much) to help pay for this trip to Florida. If you don't have the money to put into it, that is perfectly ok! Don't worry about it if you don't have it.
If you do, and you would like to donate to the cause, you can pay through PayPal to either arkansawyer@gmail.com (my dad's email address), or jeremy.baggins@gmail.com (Jeremy's email address), or send a donation in any form to
Jeremy Wheeler
1820 Mountain House Road,
Halifax, PA 17032
Many thanks,
Jeremy Wheeler
If you'd like to help out Beanz, a small donation would be appreciated. Even if all you'd like to do is email him and congratulate him on his selection for this trip, feel free to do so! Just let him know you learned about him through Blogger and this post.
One of these days, things will be 'normal' again, and in a better way than before. And when life does settle down a bit, then I plan to do some of the things I've flirted with over the past few years - to include more focus on the art of photography, and maybe even some sales... For the time being, I've closed my ebay shop. It was a nice experiment.
The books I put together have been a wonderful success - in terms of distribution. Considering it was a self-publishing effort, and I never sold ANY through the publishers website, and only sold through word-of-mouth, I did great. Enough to give several as gifts and still break even. I sold almost 100 books altogether, and at $60 a pop (expensive by my standards) that was saying something. And not a lot of effort went into it. (Read more here: A Window to My World)
As an, "Oh by the way" you should check out Karen Arnold's deviantArt website, as well as my own, if you're interested in the images in my book. Her collection of five paintings based on my photos may be found, along with many others, at http://buble.deviantart.com/gallery and my page, which has many images from Central PA, is at http://arkansawyer.deviantart.com/gallery .
The last wave of sales was a fundraiser for the church that is featured in the first section, where one of the members of the church stumbled upon my book. For every copy she sold, $5 of the purchase price went back to the church, and it turns out the Lutheran Brotherhood matched the donations dollar-for-dollar. So for 28 copies of the book that the church's members bought, the church itself earned $280, money which went directly toward fixing an old furnace that is used to heat the building. And the funny part of the story is that meeting Ms. Patrick in the first place was a total fluke, an accident, some would call it a coincidence.
And - that has been life over the past year. Full of interesting coincidences that have changed the landscape of my life dramatically. For the first time in 20 years as an adult, I finally have a plan for some of my future. It's not fully formed out, but I am working on it. From budgets that I've set and lived by for the past few months to try and reduce and eventually eliminate debt, to eating healthier to have a longer, happier life. And so much more. And you'll hear more about it as long as we remain friends... All I can say is that Good has entered my life - call it God, the Great Spirit, call it Love, or Grace, or anything you want... I am on a journey toward a better place, and although it's taken and will take awhile to get there, I will continue moving forward one step at a time... I've learned that it's not so much the destination that is important - it's the journey. And as long as I am moving forward with a purpose, instead of drifting with the current, then life is pretty good.
And there's my family... The purpose of this journal was to introduce my son. His nickname is Beanz. He's very active in various bands, including Marching Band, concert band, jazz band, county band, through his school. He's a bright and wonderful kid, if he can overcome his natural teenage tendencies to stay up late and procrastinate. :)
A few months ago, he was invited to participate in a summer trip with a small group of students to Florida, to watch one of the last two launches of the space shuttle, before the fleet is decommissioned. The selection was based on a polling of several teachers as to who should be nominated. Only those students who were selected by multiple teachers were considered.
I gave him two requirements to meet: 1) He had to bring his grades up - and with the marking period just past, he got Distinguished Honor Roll :dance:. And 2) He had to make some effort to do a fundraiser. I told him I'd match him dollar-for-dollar, but so far he hasn't made enough for the deposit. I suggested he start with a letter that I could post to my 'sites' and send out with Christmas cards. And there, I fell down on the job - I didn't even send out Christmas cards. Nor, till yesterday and today, did I post this online anywhere. (I did post a short version of this on Facebook - my page there is James Wheeler if you'd like to befriend me).
Here is Jeremy "Beanz" Wheeler's letter:
Hello!
Since most readers of this is family and friends close enough to be family, you probably know me. Yes, this your friendly cousin/nephew/grandson/friend, Jeremy Wheeler. Now, as many of you may or may not know, I have been selected for a special honor in my school. My math/physics teacher, Mr. Dwane Lahr, has selected a group of students, including me, to attend one of the final NASA space shuttle launches at the end of July next summer in Cape Canaveral, Florida. It is a special occasion that few will actually see close up, like we will. The space shuttle program is being abolished very soon, and is going to be replaced with the original rocket-based design for manned trips to extra-terrestrial bodies, like the Moon. The trip, which is five days long, is going to highlight two days at the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral. We will also spend a day to have fun, by going places such as Sea World, Orlando Studios, and/or Disney World. Two days are of course devoted to getting to and from Florida (probably by plane). A full document showing our plans and potential extras is shown at Shuttle Trip.
Here's the tricky part. The overall cost for the trip is estimated at around $600 per student. This price is all-inclusive, and covers everything but spending money for our free day. I am planning on getting a job to pay for part of this, on top of other things. Several involved parents are planning a fundraiser to help with the trip. The only thing is, my dad and I don't think it will be enough. I am asking for a small donation (it doesn't have to be much) to help pay for this trip to Florida. If you don't have the money to put into it, that is perfectly ok! Don't worry about it if you don't have it.
If you do, and you would like to donate to the cause, you can pay through PayPal to either arkansawyer@gmail.com (my dad's email address), or jeremy.baggins@gmail.com (Jeremy's email address), or send a donation in any form to
Jeremy Wheeler
1820 Mountain House Road,
Halifax, PA 17032
Many thanks,
Jeremy Wheeler
If you'd like to help out Beanz, a small donation would be appreciated. Even if all you'd like to do is email him and congratulate him on his selection for this trip, feel free to do so! Just let him know you learned about him through Blogger and this post.
Monday, April 06, 2009
A World Within
Yesterday we went fishing, but had a late start. We didn't catch any fish but I found a treasure. The outside of this glass bottle reads (Not a label, actually a part of the glass):
DR. ELLIS
SPECIAL
QUICK DRY
WAVING FLUID
WAVE SET
DR ELLIS SALES CO. INC.
DISTRIBUTORS
PITTSBURGH, PA
CONTENTS 6 FL. OZS
The coolest thing about the bottle, though, was the life within....
DR. ELLIS
SPECIAL
QUICK DRY
WAVING FLUID
WAVE SET
DR ELLIS SALES CO. INC.
DISTRIBUTORS
PITTSBURGH, PA
CONTENTS 6 FL. OZS
The coolest thing about the bottle, though, was the life within....
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Emerson
A friend recommended that I read Emerson, specifically, the essay entitled "Self Reliance". Here's a paragraph from it...
Isn't that great? Another line, that I've heard before, goes like this: Speak what you think now in hard words and to-morrow speakwhat to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradictevery thing you said to-day.
I wish I had some worthy thoughts to add to this, but it's enough, for now, to have read and enjoyed it. I hope you will take the time to look up the essay - if you can't make it to the library, check out Project Gutenberg, where they've digitized many classic literature works of the world.
Man is timid and apologetic; he is no longer upright; he dares not say 'I think,' 'I am,' but quotes some saint or sage. He is ashamed before the blade of grass or the blowing rose. These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God to-day. There is no time to them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence. Before a leaf-bud has burst, its whole life acts; in the full-blown flower there is no more; in the leafless root there is no less. Its nature is satisfied and it satisfies nature in all moments alike. But man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but with reverted eye laments the past, or, heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above time.
Isn't that great? Another line, that I've heard before, goes like this: Speak what you think now in hard words and to-morrow speakwhat to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradictevery thing you said to-day.
I wish I had some worthy thoughts to add to this, but it's enough, for now, to have read and enjoyed it. I hope you will take the time to look up the essay - if you can't make it to the library, check out Project Gutenberg, where they've digitized many classic literature works of the world.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Politics and Finances and who I vote for
Sign by Danasoft - For Backgrounds and Layouts
So one of these days, I'll get around to voting. My choice will be unpopular with some voters, but ... I don't much care.
I've heard all the talk... I know the general positions of all the candidates.
When one says that the other is all about "redistributing wealth" in such a way as to make it seem derogatory... I think back to my childhood...
If someone hadn't redistributed some wealth, we'd have had nothing.
School lunch was free. Toys for tots came through a few times to give us gifts. Mom was often sick and didn't work and Dad worked his butt off but never could quite get ahead with his 10,000-12,000 annual income to feed the family.
***WARNING: TANGENT AHEAD***
As an adult, I've fought for years over the whole credit card thing... Finding out that after awhile, one or two late payments here and there seems to give big banks the right to charge up to 35% or more in interest - not to count any 'penalties' they provide.
** The following is a hypothetical situation but all too real for many of us. My own personal situation spans 10 to 15 years, instead of the five outlined here, but it's also multiplied several times over as well... It doesn't take long to get snowed under by credit card companies... But it can take a lifetime to dig your way out. **
SCENARIO ONE:
Let's do the math for a second. I open a credit account with Citibank.. I "borrow" 10,000 at 10% APR interest. My monthly payment is, say, 4% of the balance, or $400. I pay the payment of $400, leaving a balance of 9,600 + 83 or $9,683.
Next month, my statement comes... It shows the 'old balance' of 9,600, plus interest charges of $83, (the interest is roughly 10000*10% ($1000) divided by 12, or $83 give or take). The new minimum payment due is 4% or $387.32.
Now, gas prices go up, making the president and vice president's bank accounts go up (but not mine)... (of course, that isn't true, I am sure they severed their ties to big oil before saying "I do" *ahem*). I find myself short on cash, so I send Citibank $300 in month 2.
On next month's statement, I see a few things new:
A beginning balance of 9683, minus $300 in payments, plus interest of around $80, plus a late fee of $39, leaving a new balance of (9683-300+80+39 or $9502). The new minimum payment is $380 plus the $100 left unpaid the prior month ($480). This month, I scrape things together and send the entire minimum payment of $480...
Next month, I get a suprise... Since I've had late payments posted to my account, my interest rate is no longer the 'preferred rate' but is, instead, 24.99%. My beginning balance was $9502, minus my payment of $480 or $9022, PLUS $198 in interest leaving a new balance of $9220. However, last month, in order to scrape the money together to make my minimum payment on time, I charged some gas to my card, so now I am back up to $9,500, and my minimum payment due is still $380.
I see that my interest rate just did a more-than-double trick so I surely don't want to use the card any more, so instead of paying the full amount due, I cut back a little, and send them $200 and pay cash for my gas.
This next month's statement has more surprises... My prior balance, as you recall, was 9,500, minus $200 just paid, but because I didn't pay the minimum due, I have a fee of $39 added to the balance, and since I am now a repeat offender, my interest rate goes up again, and now I find it's at 34.99%. In summary:
Prior balance: 9500
Payments: -200 (9300)
Fees: +39 (9339)
Interest: +272 (9611)
I get into this vicious cycle now, where my minimum payment is roughly $380 to $500, and I am struggling to make it, finding that my balance goes down approximately $100 a month - if I am lucky... Here and there, I make a payment a couple days past due (gotta wait for payday). My interest rate never falls, I use the card sparingly but enough that the $100 balance credit that I should have is canceled out, and this goes on for, say, five years.
At the end of five years, here's what I find in totals:
Original balance: $10,000
New Charges: (average $100 per month for 60 months = $6000)
Payments: (average $400 per month for 60 months = $24000)
Interest: (average $275 per month for 60 months = $16,500)
Fees: (2 late fees per year for 5 years $39 each = $390)
New balance: almost $33000 minus my payments of $24000, or around $9000.
At this rate, I'll pay $400 per month for many, many years, before my original $10,000 balance is paid off. As it is, in five years time, I've "borrowed" a grand total of $16,000 and paid a total of $24000, and still owe another $9000.
If the original terms of the agreement had been followed by all parties - or if the bank were reasonable and not so greedy, and kept an honest interest rate of 10% despite my late payment now and then (whack me with the fees, go for it!) the picture might have been totally different.
Year one:
Original balance: $10000
Payments: $400 per month for year one, or $4800
Interest: (at 10%, approximately $1000)
New charges: $100 per month or $1200
Balance: 10000-4800+1000+1200 or $7400
Year two:
Original balance: $7400
Payments: $400 per month for year two, or $4800
Interest: (at 10%, approximately $740)
New charges: $100 per month or $1200
Balance: 7400-4800+740+1200 or $4540
Year three:
Original balance: $4540
Payments: $400 per month for year three, or $4800
Interest: (at 10%, approximately $454)
New charges: $100 per month or $1200
Balance: 4540-4800+454+1200 or $1394
Guess what... I break even in the third or fourth month of year four. By year five end, I have not only paid my credit card off, but have managed to put about $7000 into the bank...
The finance company just made a fair $2500 or so profit on me, I am happy, they should be too...
But instead... Instead scenario one is lived by many individuals, banks and finance companies today... and now, because I am homeless and can't pay my bill, the bank has to call this 'bad debt' and because I am not paying my credit card as I agreed to five years ago, the bank is hurting, and the federal government needs to bail them out.
I just hope that somehow, someone puts a stop to the craziness involved in credit financing - even though it's been an invisible subject since the big 'bailout' plan had to pass congress in such an emergency. Honestly, I am not paying my citibank cards another dime till I have some money comfortably saved somewhere... because I don't have two nickles to rub together by the time the next payday rolls around.
SCENARIO ONE:
Let's do the math for a second. I open a credit account with Citibank.. I "borrow" 10,000 at 10% APR interest. My monthly payment is, say, 4% of the balance, or $400. I pay the payment of $400, leaving a balance of 9,600 + 83 or $9,683.
Next month, my statement comes... It shows the 'old balance' of 9,600, plus interest charges of $83, (the interest is roughly 10000*10% ($1000) divided by 12, or $83 give or take). The new minimum payment due is 4% or $387.32.
Now, gas prices go up, making the president and vice president's bank accounts go up (but not mine)... (of course, that isn't true, I am sure they severed their ties to big oil before saying "I do" *ahem*). I find myself short on cash, so I send Citibank $300 in month 2.
On next month's statement, I see a few things new:
A beginning balance of 9683, minus $300 in payments, plus interest of around $80, plus a late fee of $39, leaving a new balance of (9683-300+80+39 or $9502). The new minimum payment is $380 plus the $100 left unpaid the prior month ($480). This month, I scrape things together and send the entire minimum payment of $480...
Next month, I get a suprise... Since I've had late payments posted to my account, my interest rate is no longer the 'preferred rate' but is, instead, 24.99%. My beginning balance was $9502, minus my payment of $480 or $9022, PLUS $198 in interest leaving a new balance of $9220. However, last month, in order to scrape the money together to make my minimum payment on time, I charged some gas to my card, so now I am back up to $9,500, and my minimum payment due is still $380.
I see that my interest rate just did a more-than-double trick so I surely don't want to use the card any more, so instead of paying the full amount due, I cut back a little, and send them $200 and pay cash for my gas.
This next month's statement has more surprises... My prior balance, as you recall, was 9,500, minus $200 just paid, but because I didn't pay the minimum due, I have a fee of $39 added to the balance, and since I am now a repeat offender, my interest rate goes up again, and now I find it's at 34.99%. In summary:
Prior balance: 9500
Payments: -200 (9300)
Fees: +39 (9339)
Interest: +272 (9611)
I get into this vicious cycle now, where my minimum payment is roughly $380 to $500, and I am struggling to make it, finding that my balance goes down approximately $100 a month - if I am lucky... Here and there, I make a payment a couple days past due (gotta wait for payday). My interest rate never falls, I use the card sparingly but enough that the $100 balance credit that I should have is canceled out, and this goes on for, say, five years.
At the end of five years, here's what I find in totals:
Original balance: $10,000
New Charges: (average $100 per month for 60 months = $6000)
Payments: (average $400 per month for 60 months = $24000)
Interest: (average $275 per month for 60 months = $16,500)
Fees: (2 late fees per year for 5 years $39 each = $390)
New balance: almost $33000 minus my payments of $24000, or around $9000.
At this rate, I'll pay $400 per month for many, many years, before my original $10,000 balance is paid off. As it is, in five years time, I've "borrowed" a grand total of $16,000 and paid a total of $24000, and still owe another $9000.
SCENARIO TWO (aka the way it should be):
If the original terms of the agreement had been followed by all parties - or if the bank were reasonable and not so greedy, and kept an honest interest rate of 10% despite my late payment now and then (whack me with the fees, go for it!) the picture might have been totally different.
Year one:
Original balance: $10000
Payments: $400 per month for year one, or $4800
Interest: (at 10%, approximately $1000)
New charges: $100 per month or $1200
Balance: 10000-4800+1000+1200 or $7400
Year two:
Original balance: $7400
Payments: $400 per month for year two, or $4800
Interest: (at 10%, approximately $740)
New charges: $100 per month or $1200
Balance: 7400-4800+740+1200 or $4540
Year three:
Original balance: $4540
Payments: $400 per month for year three, or $4800
Interest: (at 10%, approximately $454)
New charges: $100 per month or $1200
Balance: 4540-4800+454+1200 or $1394
Guess what... I break even in the third or fourth month of year four. By year five end, I have not only paid my credit card off, but have managed to put about $7000 into the bank...
The finance company just made a fair $2500 or so profit on me, I am happy, they should be too...
But instead... Instead scenario one is lived by many individuals, banks and finance companies today... and now, because I am homeless and can't pay my bill, the bank has to call this 'bad debt' and because I am not paying my credit card as I agreed to five years ago, the bank is hurting, and the federal government needs to bail them out.
It doesn't matter that I just paid them almost $25000 in payments, on $16,000 in charges, giving them a hefty $9000 in profit... what matters is that on the books, I am a bad debtor, and owe them $9000 that I'll never be able to pay off.
I like the ideal represented by Scenario Two above. We all win... and in a perfect world where money flows freely into my checking account and I never, ever post a late payment, then maybe it's possible to live scenario two. But when one of the bread earner's loses their job, or becomes disabled, or, heaven forbid, gas prices quadruple in a few years time, sometimes crap happens.
Back to my vote.
From an independent-seeming site, I garner the following facts about our candidates:
McCain would cut the corporate tax rate from 35% to 25%, and favors permanent tax credits to business for research and development. For people earning 250,000 or more per year, he wants to keep Bushes tax cuts.
Obama says that he'd let the Bush tax cuts expire for those earning 250,000 or more. And the whole corporate tax rate? Leave it at 35%. And end all the loopholes and deductions for industries like Big Oil.
For personal taxes, McCain says, "double the dependent deduction to $7000" and Obama says to implement a $500 per person or $1000 per family 'credit' on the taxes.
The McCain plan means this to me: If I earn enough income to be in a 20% tax bracket, I'd have an extra $3500 exempt from taxes - which means I'd save approximately 20% of 3500, or $700. The Obama plan says I'd save $1000.
Furthermore, Obama says for seniors making less than $50,000 eliminate their taxes. Period. My whole family would benefit directly by that one.
I do get McCain's preachiness about how Obama wants to 'redistribute wealth' while he wants to increase wealth. But from someone who has lived and does live down in the trenches of life in America, I can't afford any more of this "increase the wealth of the wealthy" attitude, in the hopes that some of it might trickle down to me..
In this, I must vote for the person who will enable me, somehow, hopefully, to get that extra $300 tax break - and to hell with those people who are making $250,000 a year. If they can't afford the extra taxes then who can? Certainly not my Mom or Grandmother, both of whom live month to month on their social security checks, just hoping that they'll have enough to pay for their groceries or medicine or both... and feeling terrible because they can't buy nice gifts for their grandkids and greats. They need a break from that, too.
Much of my family supports McCain, and I am sure he is a real American Hero... I do respect the man. But I think his support of the wealthy and of Big Industry is dead wrong. My vote goes for Obama.
I just hope that somehow, someone puts a stop to the craziness involved in credit financing - even though it's been an invisible subject since the big 'bailout' plan had to pass congress in such an emergency. Honestly, I am not paying my citibank cards another dime till I have some money comfortably saved somewhere... because I don't have two nickles to rub together by the time the next payday rolls around.
As for YOU. Just vote. And if your conscience says to vote for McCain, then GO FOR IT. Just do it. May God bless the winner and those he represents.
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