Thanksgiving

Although Thanksgiving is past, and even Christmas, and now, the first day of the New Year is already upon us, and gone. I have been thinking about Thanksgiving, and what it means. I am just now getting around to writing my thoughts down.

Going back to my childhood, from my earliest years, the two times of year that we always looked forward to was Thanksgiving and the Family Reunion. Yes, Christmas was good. And Easter. But, Thanksgiving and Reunion time were the times that, year after year, did not change.

In August, we always went to the family reunion (or it came to us). We would have our extended families, from Texas sometimes, always eastern Arkansas and Mississippi. Earliest memories include family reunions at Granny Rosie’s – baked sweet potatoes and fried pies. But, we could always count on one thing that was better than the food. Most years, our cousins Greg and Joel would show up – and we always loved to play with them. Even Tina – although she was a girl. I can still remember hanging out of the top of the shed (there was a kind of hole under the peak) and shooting at the Japs outside. Or making tunnels in the haystacks in the barn. Or, just exploring.

As much fun as all the kids had with each other, though, I think what I liked best was having Uncle Wilbur and Aunt Roxie around. Greg and Joel called them Grandma and Grampa. But, we always called them Aunt and Uncle…. But, on Dad’s side of the family, they WERE our grandparents. Uncle Wilbur was older than Dad – although Dad was no spring chick himself. I used to love visits by my Granny and Pop, but I loved Wilbur and Roxie no less. When I got old enough, I used to love harassing Roxie with my camera. But, even before that, she was my Grandma, even if she really wasn’t.

Which is what made Thanksgiving the ‘other’ special time. The two facts of life was that the Mississip’ Gang would come in August, and we’d go there for Thanksgiving. I can remember many evenings of play around the old homesite in Mississippi. I remember chickens clucking around in the back near the barn. Remember Ernie in his horse days, riding and roping. Running down the road to Greg’s or Joel’s, or just playing in the front yard, near the big old oak tree, chasing lightning bugs. Some Thanksgivings were just like summertime – we played outside like midsummer. Some were cold – I can remember the house being closed up and curtained off to keep the drafts out.

I can remember, either at our house or theirs, but mainly at theirs, Dad and Wilbur – sometimes another uncle or two, setting on the front porch, rolling a Prince Albert, telling stories. I can’t say that I can remember any details (I sure wish I could! If someone remembers tales told by the old folks in your families – please write them down – we need to remember, for our kids and grandkids). I can remember that Wilbur and Roxie had an ice machine – that was cool. I’d get a glass of ice and go sit out on the porch while Uncle Wilbur was out there, and crunch ice. He’d act like it really bothered him – I don’t really know if it did, but he’d tell me to quit that crunching, and I’d do it all the more. And, the only liver and onions that I remember really liking were Aunt Roxie’s.

I remember going to see Pat and Stacy – and how Stacy would drive to Tupelo to save a nickel on butter. And going to see Sue and Jerry – I remember the big semi-truck, and seeing the kids, even though they were older than us, was always fun. And Jimmy and his kids. They used to play with my older siblings a lot. Of course, there was (and still is) some family there! Tony always had something going…. Debbie who, like Pat, was another ‘Mom’, and Ernie, who thought that the canned meat in the fridge was awfully good till his Mom asked him the next day where the Alpo was! And last, but not at all the least, I remember the little old Chihuahua, Mousy, who fiercely guarded the biscuit, even if he couldn’t eat it. Used to nip at us whenever we even got near that biscuit.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and now New Year’s eve is past. But, I am thankful for all the things I have. I have two wonderful children and a wonderful wife. I have lots of other family members, who I do not have the chance to see all the time, but whom I love no less. And, strange as it may seem, I am very thankful for some things that I no longer can see or touch. I really miss my Mississippi Grandma and Grandpa. But, I am very thankful that I have the wonderful memories of my childhood, and that my parents took the time to teach us that family is so very important. Although much has changed – I am now in my thirties, not 7, Wilbur and Roxie, Dad, Sue, Jimmy, and Pat, even Greg, all gone – I still remember – and I still love them all.

I told my wife the other day, that I am not a ‘resolution’ person. But, I think I’ll make an exception. The resolution, if you want to call it that, is to make an attempt to go back and remember my family, those still with us and those now in heaven. And reach out to those people that I remember, even if it’s just to say ‘Hello’ and ‘I miss you’, maybe share a memory or two. I have been away from home now for a long time. I have missed a few family reunions, when it just wasn’t possible to be there due to work or life events. I am not the only one. Our family reunions have gotten smaller over time, although some recently were pretty big, considering. As the family grows, it inevitably grows apart. Dad’s generation is all gone. I can barely remember some of his brothers, and some not at all. But, now their kids are all grown, some with Grandkids of their own. The family reunion is a place where those kids go and think, who the heck are those people?

So, maybe the next part of the resolution, would be to work on that family tree that I started a couple of years ago, and create a ‘Where do you fit in?’ document. I could start at my grandfather’s level, since that’s where I remember people from. He passed on before I was born, but several of his children will be forever etched into my memories.

And, last, but most important. Whether we go to or miss a family reunion is not the point. What we should all attempt to do is to teach our children the importance of understanding who we are and who our family is. In this day and age, we may not be able to see our Grandparents or cousins more than once or twice a year (I know. I live 1200 miles away). But, even so, our children should know their family, even if it is only twice a year. A family reunion or Thanksgiving is a good goal to shoot for. For me personally, as described above, the family reunion and Thanksgiving (which was, essentially, another reunion) were the two times every year, that all us kids were together, and when we were always near our Grandparents and other’s who loved us. Our kids should have some of that, too! They may treasure those memories in later years.