Heart of Stone

Editorial note. I am not sure when I wrote this, but I am thinking it dates back to around 1990 or so. I rather think this was around 1991 or 1992 after I'd been in the Air Force awhile and was getting homesick. It was a single sit-down writing exercise, with no point to it to start with, and as such, is not very fluid, or flowing... And if I were writing it today, I'd change wording here and there, fix grammer, make it better... but in the end, the conclusions I came to in my expression still hold true. I'll leave it exactly as I wrote it, except to allow Word's spell corrector to fix a few mistyped words here and there.

Take it for what it's worth... Ponder it. See how much stone YOU have left in your heart, in your life.

For crying out loud. This has been the fourth time this week that a cop has pulled me over. The first time was for a broken tail light. Then came two speeding tickets. What this time?

Well, here comes the cop. This doesn’t look good. With a name like Butkowski, and the size and demeanor of Rambo, it looks like I’m in trouble.

He says I ran a stop sign. He didn’t think it was too funny when I assured him that I would stop twice next time. So far this week’s tickets have totaled about four hundred dollars.

Well, like the guy on the radio is singing, I’m in between a rock and a heartache. If I don’t pay the tickets, then I’ll be stuck in jail. And I definitely don’t have the money. Not that much, anyway.

I guess it has been fun around here, but it is time to move on. I believe I’ll leave tomorrow and head for home. It has been about seven years since I’ve been back.

Pamela won’t understand why I must go. She’ll insist on paying for the tickets, but what she doesn’t realize is that that will cure the symptoms, not the disease. I’m homesick, and I’ve been awfully restless for a long time.

I wonder what Mom is doing today? I’ll have to call her and find out when I get home.

Pam is putting out her laundry. I might as well tell her now that I have decided to move on.

I knew that she would be upset, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. It might be a cruel attitude to have, but I guess life is full of heartache so you might as well give some as well as receive.


Well, I’m all packed up and ready to hit the road. Pam waves goodbye as I pull out. I begin to have second thoughts, but there’s no turning back.

I have now been driving for ten straight hours. I guess it’ll take about three more to get home. All of a sudden, this big tanker truck pulls into my lane, forcing my pickup into the guardrail. It was horrible, like a meat grinder. Needless to say, there’s not much left of me. I am dead, but as I now realize, that is only a technicality, as I can do more now than ever before.

I saw Mom today for the first time. What I mean is, on this side of life you see people as they really are, not as they appear. I never knew Mom was so beautiful. And some of the people I always really looked up to are no better than the ones who I always knew were bad characters. In fact, they are lower than low, because they have fooled so many people while the average bad person is at least honest about it.

I have also learned a lot about myself. I am not an entirely clean person myself. I have experienced degrading thoughts at times, but now I know that that is only normal. Very few people are perfect in every way, and those few people are very special.

I am a long way from that point, but I hope that people like me for being me, not for my money or possessions, of which I have very few.

Louis L’amour, one of my life-long heroes, I have met up here, and yes, he is still writing books!

The Earth is a lot different from what any mortal man could ever imagine. All of these religions and even the new age movements, are spreading a certain amount of good throughout the Earth, but there is not one true religion. All I can say is, live your life by letting your conscience be your guide. If you do not follow your conscience, then you are nothing. Literally.

Every lie you tell, at least when it goes against the grain, or every other act which you know is wrong, but do anyway, each thing chips away at your soul.

To best describe it, imagine a block of stone, one foot square. Every person is born with this object in their heart. Some people, at an early age, have other folks chipping pieces of stone off the block. This is parents who demoralize and abuse their children. Many of these children do not have a chance, for by the time they are adults the block is only about one inch square.

On the other hand, the block can grow. If someone who has a battered and beaten block of stone finds someone who accepts them and loves them, then sometimes the outside love adds mortar to the block, often making it better than it ever was before.

When you hear the term “Heart of Gold” applied to a person, then that person usually has a figurative block that is at least 10 inches square. Although everyone starts out with an even foot square, as the newborn innocence wears off, some of the stone rubs off. It is normal.

Some people, very few people, have absolutely no stone left in their hearts at the deathbed. These people are lost, as only good passes beyond the grave.

A vast majority of others, myself included, reach this place with at least a small part of their identity washed away. Only the good that was in them remains.

Repost: Bicycle Safety

Originally Posted October 5, 2005, a time when I had realized that things in my own life needed to change, but when I was 'stuck' and unable to make those changes. Things are good... We need not regret the past, we need to concentrate on shaping a better tomorrow.........



One of the most confusing things, as a parent, is teaching our kids about "right" and "wrong". It is easy to say, if it goes against the 10 Commandments, then it is wrong. But, is that enough? No, in this world, we have many rights and wrongs. Like "white lies", where you tell someone something to protect their feelings. Strictly speaking, is it right or wrong to say, "Well, it isn't so bad....", when you really don't like it?

On a more personal level, with children, is winning and losing. It's good to win, and bad to lose. But, at the same time, it seems like some kids win all the time, and some kids lose all the time. Truthfully, no one wins ALL the time, at everything, but, sometimes it seems like they do. So, how do you tell a child who has lost, yet again, that it is all right? That losing can be a good thing? That they did the best they could, and everything is going to be okay... Through their tears, their pain and humiliation, they do not want to hear this. How can anything be "right"?

In Scouts, we had a state police officer come and give a safety lecture and demonstration. He talked about bicycle safety. It's pretty apparent why helmets are a good thing, even common sense. But, how do you explain to a child, that when you're walking up the road, you should walk on the "left" side of the road, instead of the "right" side? But, when you're riding a bicycle, you must obey vehicular laws, and ride on the "right" side, and not the "left" side?

The reasons for this are that when you're riding, you are, in effect, on a moving vehicle, and subject to the laws that apply to moving vehicles. On a bicycle, you should stop at stop signs, use a turn signal or hand signals to indicate which way you are turning, etc. Also, it would be dangerous to top a hill on a busy or even remote street, and meet oncoming traffic while riding your bike. But, when you're walking, you need to be able to see ahead of you, so you can get out of the way, in case someone is coming toward you.

It all goes back to safety first. There are times, while walking, that we will cross to the right side of the road, like on a blind curve or hill, where no one can see what is coming, and people drive too fast, causing dangerous conditions for the walker. In general, however, we follow the law and walk up the left side of the road, and as cars come toward us, we move to the edge of the road, and they tend to veer toward the middle, and all is well.

Going back to "rights and wrongs", to explain bicycle and walking safety to my kids, I tried to make it as clear as possible. "When walking, right is wrong, and left is right. But, when riding, right is right, and left is wrong." I think they get it.

In life, how do we so clearly explain things? Often it is just as hard. Our greatest way of teaching our children is by setting examples. Therefore, they see us doing something, they deem it acceptable, and do the same things. So, if we shout a lot, the kids will tend to shout a lot. If we complain a lot, the kids will tend to complain a lot. If we pray a lot, the kids will tend to pray a lot. If we wear smiles on our faces every day, our children will tend to wear smiles.

But, what happens when it seems like everything is wrong? Like when you're in a race, and you lose? You hold up your head, and say "Congratulations" to the winner, and life goes on. What happens when you're in a situation where there are no winners? When something ends, like when their Grandfather dies, perhaps? How do you tell a child that there is any "right" in this? You say, "Grandpa is in heaven." but is that really very meaningful to a child? He has just lost his best friend.

I suppose we could distract them, by teaching them bicycle safety...

But there is no "right" anywhere that will bring back something that is gone forever. And this is one of the hardest lessons to learn, as a child or an adult. You can pretend that everything is "right" and just continue to go on, pretending, forever. But, to fix the wrongs and make them right, means to truly come to accept that some things just are not "right". Then you must not only accept this awareness that they are not "right", and cannot be, but also become aware that life goes on. There's a future there, that each and every one of us contributes to. And that if things are not, and cannot be "right" the way they are today, then it's our job to build a better tomorrow. For when everything else is "wrong", there are still "right things" inside of us.

Through faith, hope, and love, we can each help to bring about a better tomorrow. No matter how bad today is, there is always hope for tomorrow. If we have faith in ourselves, and in the world around us, even God, then we can work to make a better tomorrow. And through companionship, though love, we can strengthen the faith and hope inside us. And, maybe, despite the "wrong" of today, we can reshape tomorrow, where we'll wake up and find "right" in our world.

Happy Birthday Kate

Happy Birthday Kate!!

Spent several hours in the ER last evening with Miss Kate. She's great... hurting a little from 19 stitches, but otherwise okay. She was getting off of something and an old empty aquarium was below her so she put her foot on ... err.... through it...

The really cool thing is (well... okay, nothing's too cool about getting hurt the day before your birthday (Today is Kate's birthday - be sure to wish her a Happy Birthday!!)) she remained calm and level headed through it all. And there were some nasty cuts - the glass got her from both sides. But although it looked bad, it wasn't deep enough to sever arteries or anything... The only time she really got upset was when the doc shot her up with the anesthesia (and even then she didn't over-react.. but she sure told him about it!!) I am proud of my girl's way of handling it... And glad Ms. Robin was there when it happened (and glad I was only about 5 minutes away). She kept everyone calm and got the foot unwedged by pulling the glass away on one side so she could get her leg out of it on the other side. Robin's daughter called me and I got my giddy-up go in gear and got home fast, and we turned around and went back to the ER within a couple minutes of getting there.

The important thing is she's all right... Happy Birthday Kate... I love you!

Betrayal

So I went to my first Maundy Thursday church service last evening. It was interesting - held by candlelight at tables in the large Sunday School room instead of the sanctuary.  A ritual celebrating the Last Supper.  There were readings, and hymns... One of the companions of Robin and I, someone I've gotten to know somewhat over the past few months, was reading along with the liturgical response, and singing the hymns. When we got to the story of Jesus' betrayal, and a hymn was sung about "I am the betrayer... I have betrayed thee."

She seemed to stumble a bit there, as, admittedly, I did.  It was a reference to the betrayal of Jesus by Judas and the abandonment of him by the rest of the disciples.... But it was sung in the first person... implying that the singer IS the betrayer.

Neither she nor I get too caught up in the details of the "Jesus Story".   I have read most of the bible, probably 80-85% of it, so I have a good understanding of the stories and history.  But there's so much more to Good than reading the words, or The Word, as some call it.  Regardless of that, we do attend church most Sundays and worship. We're lucky enough to have a pastor who reaches beyond the words to try to bring the Message to life.

It's not about all the technical details. There are "inspired" stories throughout the Old and New Testaments that were written by human beings. And centuries later, translated by other human beings into new languages, including English. Many people use the King James translations as the One True Gospel... It was written in the 1600's, and commissioned by King James of England. To quote one source, "James gave the translators instructions intended to guarantee that the new version would conform to the ecclesiology and reflect the episcopal structure of the Church of England and its beliefs about an ordained clergy."

Interestingly enough, politics played a huge role in that translation of the Bible. And know what? It DOESN'T MATTER. No matter which translation you use, the Golden Rule is still the Golden Rule. The story of the Good Samaritan is still the story of the Good Samaritan. It is not about the words, it is about the Message.

For example, we could spend weeks or even months discussing Revelations... and unless we are living in a world where we do Good Things because we live in fear of some future action against us if we sin, then it's all pointless. It's good to understand the book, to read it, but in the end, if we focus too much time and energy on it, then we have wasted a great deal of ourselves on this pursuit.  We need to live right because it's the right thing to do.

I'll say again, "...unless we are living in a world where we do Good Things because we live in fear of some future action against us if we sin, then it's all pointless."  All the studying of the technical details of what may come to pass in the future is pointless.  My opinion... Just my opinion.  You should know the story and have a grasp of what it means, but in the end, we must strive to live right for the right reasons.

Think about that for a minute. IF we are living Good Lives because we are forced to do so by our fear of Hell, or because God wants us to, or because doing so will earn us all the milk and honey and mansions of heaven, then we've missed the boat entirely. What we need to do is to live the Good Life because it is the Right Thing, not for some reward or punishment.

Those things are there, yes... but inside each and every one of us is a little voice, a voice of reason, a voice of conscience, the voice of the Divine, that if we will listen, if we can free ourselves from the distractions of our world, and disentangle ourselves from the cages of words that the church and the bible and society have built around us.. If we can do good things because they are the right things to do, then we're on the right track.

And the Bible and the Church are great places to start. They are a roadmap to a Better Place. But if we keep looking down at the road beneath our feet, then we'll never be able to see up ahead to where we're headed. We need to forget for a moment where we are and just BE.


And then there's Maundy Thursday. Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? Think about it.

Since this is a somewhat biblical essay, let us return to the roadmap of Christianity, the Bible.

In Romans, there's a section that discusses right and wrong and those who are strong or weak. In effect, it says, "If you are strong in faith, and you believe that it is okay to eat meat or drink wine, then do so. It's okay - you aren't sinning if you do so. But if your brother, your neighbor, is weak in faith, and feels like it is wrong to eat meat, or drink wine, and does so anyways, then he IS sinning. Don't judge him for being different. But if you, in your actions, lead him to do something that in his mind is wrong, then you are wrong, too."

Romans 14:1-4

1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2 One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4 Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

Romans 14:13-15

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14 As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15 If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.

Romans 14:19-23

19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall. 22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

And most importantly:
Romans 14:17

17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? Think about it again.....

I have only given some exerpts of this sermon from Paul. But there are a few object lessons here. One of them is to quit judging others. Really. What another person does is between that person, and his Creator. YOU have nothing at all to do with it. That person will make mistakes. You will, too. In the end it's between them and God.

We all want to live good lives. We all want to be better people. But have you never gone against that little voice in the back of your mind, and done something that deep down inside you thought was wrong? Did someone say, "C'mon, do this..." and you did it, even though they thought it was okay, and you thought it was bad?

If you did, then you betrayed your Inner Voice. That Whisper of the Divine that can guide you through right and wrong.

I have been there, and done that. It isn't always a fellow person who leads you astray. Sometimes, we have two Inner Voices... You have the Divine that says, "Do what is right, do what is healthy, do what is Good..." and then the voice of the Profane, that says, "It's okay... everybody does it."

At some point or other, we have all listened to the Profane, whether that was an inner voice, or the voice of our Brother or Sister or anyone else in our lives.

It is not for us to judge the other for the faults that we imagine them to have. It is not for US to judge anyone. We must learn to do for ourselves, to Be for ourselves. To strengthen our own faith in ourselves and the Divine. To search for Peace and Joy. "..it is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness.", or as I prefer, Right.

Do it because it is Right for you. Period. By all means, guide your friend, be there, but do not become the person who makes them stumble because your standards are different than his.


Why is it that we tend to stumble when we say, "I am the betrayer, I am the one who betrayed you."? For me, it's because I don't want to be the betrayer. I also don't want to be the betrayed. But at various times in my life, I have found myself in both roles. I am Human.


One of the most important life lessons I have learned can be summed up in this short phrase, "He was a good person in a bad place." Remember, when you find yourself realizing that you have been the betrayer, or the betrayed... You are Human.
 
Chances are, the other is, too. It does not make either of you a bad person. Just a good one in a bad place. The important thing is to look forward, look ahead, to a better place. Find the path to Peace, and Joy, and Right.

And feel free to sing along with the hymns, even when they make you uncomfortable.

One year ago, today...

A year ago today, my Mom went to heaven, or where ever it is that good souls go.

She was human, but she had made peace with herself, and with her Creator.  Ten years before, she had written a letter to her children - just in case this day should come.  At her service my brother Ron and I each spoke, and then her letter was read. 

Our comments, followed by hers, is shared here.  Her part was modified slightly - things HAD changed in 10 years, but the family details aren't important - the message is.   Remember that when we are down and hurt and lonely, feeling forgotten, or just plain tired, there is a light out there, a hope, a better place, a better day.  All is not lost.  We have family, and sometimes they are our friends as much as our blood.


James:

I was fourteen and Ted had just turned sixteen a few days before our Dad died. Times were tough for awhile. I can remember not being able to stand sitting at home, and hearing all the talk, so I got up and went back to school.

The first day back, there must have been five hundred “I am so sorry”’s thrown my way. By the end of the day, I wanted to shout at them “Shut Up!”, but I just nodded my head and mumbled thanks, and went on.

And over the years, I have had a hard time dealing with death, whether that of a random stranger or that of someone close, it didn’t matter. I’ve lost a number of good friends, my grandpa, my baby.

And each time, I staggered with the weight.

Three or four years ago, I was friends with a black man at work, Al. Al was a father and a grandfather, always active in the community, in sports, loved by everyone around him. One day he had a heart attack, and was gone. I attended his service, and it was the first (and only) time I was at a service like that. There, they did mourn the loss of him for their sake, but I’d describe the whole affair as a celebration - a celebration of the life and the legacy that Al had lived and left behind. A celebration because they knew without a doubt that he was finally with his Creator, and happy, and free from the chains of this world. There was singing, much of it joyful and loud.

In a way, I think this, for me, was a life changing experience. It was the first time I had dealt or saw people deal with Death on friendly terms. It was just one step on my journey to understanding and becoming at peace with Death. I still don’t like it but that’s mostly a selfish reaction. Because I know my Dad, my grandpa, Al, and my Mom, and my nephews Carliss and Johnny, are in a place where there is no pain, no suffering, no sneezes or coughs, and no hatred.

Then there is this world left behind. How do we deal with this change?

I recently read a description of Celtic tradition that puts a few things into perspective for me. These words were written by an Irish Priest named John O’Donohue:

Ireland is a land of many ruins. Ruins are not empty. They are sacred places full of presence. A friend of mine, a priest, was going to build a parking lot outside his church. There was a ruin nearby that had been vacated for fifty or sixty years. He went to the man whose family had lived there long ago and asked the man to give him the stones for the foundation. The man refused. The priest asked why, and the man said, “What would the souls of my ancestors do then?” The implication was that even in this ruin long since vacated, the souls of those who had once lived there still had a particular affinity and attachment to this place. The life and passion of a person leave an imprint on the ether of a place. Love does not remain within the heart, it flows out to build secret tabernacles in a landscape.

Friday, when I got back home, I walked over to Mom’s, and there was the family, gathered around. Looking through books, talking, just being. I looked around for Mom and saw her everywhere. The life and passion of a person leave an imprint on the ether of a place. Love does not remain within the heart, it flows out to build secret tabernacles in a landscape. She was still there, within her house, but more importantly, within every one of us who remained behind.

It has taken many, many years to understand this. And even now, it’s a learning process. It’s easier to grasp with the mind than it is in the heart. But I do know that she is still here with us, and although today we may bury her physical remains in this sacred ritual, her soul and spirit is still alive and we will all carry on her legacy. She gave birth to six children, but was mother to many more. She will live far beyond our lifetimes, in the actions of our children and children’s children.

Ron:

When I was little, when all of us were little, Mom used to read to us. Sometimes she’d read with voices, making the words, the characters, real. Often she’d read of far away places, far away times, different worlds, either in the past or the future. She’d transport us to some new place, showing us the wide world long before we’d ever go out and explore it with our own eyes.

Her younger brother Ralph told us about when he was struggling in school, trying to learn to read. Mom went out and bought a set of books, and brought them home, and made him read to her every day. She’d stop him after every paragraph and make him explain to her what he’d just read. Eventually he, too, learned to love words and books.

Through her love for us, and her love for reading, she helped us become ready to face the big wide world. She also inspired us to be readers like her. She has indeed left a legacy for her children and her children’s children that will endure forever, in those left behind. All her kids have benefited from this legacy that she has started.

The new generation, our kids like Amber and Jacob, who love reading her books, and finding new books of their own, have been inspired by her passion for reading. The legacy will live on as long as we continue to be inspired by the things she has shown us. She taught us to love to read, but more importantly, she taught us to love.

Awhile back, she wrote a letter to us, and it started out like this, “Don’t grieve for me.” She realized that her time on earth is limited, and took the time to worry about those of us left behind. In the time since writing her letter, she stayed with us for awhile longer, but she was at peace with leaving.

Here is her letter…

MESSAGE TO MY FAMILY

Don't grieve for me when I've gone. I've lived a full life with all its ups and downs. Downs seem to last forever. But the up swings do wipe them out.

When one door shuts, others open which can lead to even better things than you think you want.

I count myself to have been greatly blessed in my children; all are people that I'd be honored to call my friends, even if we had no other bonds. In order of Birth:

The oldest one is only mine by courtesy. He was born to my late husband and his first wife. But I'm proud to call Larry Gene Wheeler “my son.” Larry is married to Pam and has no children.

The next three are my children by my former husband:

Barry Kent Craw is my first born. He is unmarried.

Ronnie Burns Craw is married to Tisha. He has three children by a former marriage Rhonda, Tiffany, and Stephen. Tisha has one child Nicholas.

Beth Ann Craw is married to Dennis and had one step-son Johnny. She has two daughters and a son: Amanda is married to Micah and has two daughters Ashley and Gracie. Amber is married to Tim, no children. Geoffrey is not married.

Next is Larry's sister, my step-daughter Diann (Wheeler) Godwin is married to Russ and has one son by a former marriage. I have been proud to have had her as my second daughter.

Next come my sons by my late husband Eugene Wheeler:

Teddy Eugene Wheeler is married to Geneva. He has three children by a former marriage Jacob, Johnny, Jacklynn. Geneva has two children Michael and Trevor.

James Arthur Wheeler is married to Vikki and has two children: Jeremy and Katherine (Kate).

All are good, decent, reliable people and are a joy to their mother’s heart. They are responsible hard working folks. Like everyone else I've traveled life's road. But my real blessing has always been my family. That has made it all worthwhile.

Do not grieve for me when I'm gone. Just go on raising good, decent children. Do so and all their lives they will be a blessing to all who know them.

And know that LOVE allows for all our quirks and honors us for them, and is made stronger by them. That is the very best way to honor my memory-not grief!

Just go on doing what you all do best: Be good decent human beings, who help to guide the next generation along those same lines.

And keep my love for you ever in your hearts.

MOM

Humans Against Dragon Stereotypes

Halifax Area School District information can be accessed via the web url of http://www.hasd.us

Of course, I am, once in a blue moon, dyslexic.

So of course, I typo it.

This site is much better anyways:  http://www.hads.us   .. errm.. that is to say, Humans Against Dragon Stereotypes.  It's full of great information useful to all of us who have a general conservationist's view of the world, and wish to protect endangered species, and all (like the dragon).

Be sure to check it out.

Project Gutenberg

I've been a fan for several years of the volunteers over at Project Gutenberg.  They (and at this point it is they although at some point in time perhaps it'll be "we" if I ever volunteer time for it) have made a real effort to take writings that are considered to be in the "Public Domain" and create electronic versions of them that we can download either as .txt files, or browse via html pages, or in some cases, even posted as audiobooks.

ALL FOR FREE.

So next time you want to read an old book but have no money or time for the library (assuming it had that obscure text in the first place), go on over to gutenberg.org and check it out.

Some examples that I personally have read include Emerson's Essays and various writings by Mark Twain.

There are over 30,000 books available as of now, with over 100,000 available through the partners, affiliates and resources link.

There are some things about this format of reading this is a little awkward.  From footnotes and copywrite notices and just plain old "looking at the screen" issues, but if you need to find a quick quote from an old book, this could be a good resource for you.

There

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."


What does this mean to me? Well, when I was in the eighth or ninth grade, Mrs. Parker had us write an essay on any topic. I chose the golden rule.  (See photo of Mrs. Parker looking at me for making a paper airplane in class).

I cannot remember exactly what words I used in the essay - but the gist of it was that I felt it was important to live by that rule. I really did, even as a teenager, treat those others who were around me with respect, whether they deserved it or not. Why not? What would it cost me?

The rewards, although not sought after, were plenty. Treat others with respect, and sometimes you'll be surprised at the results. You may find friends in the most unexpected of places. It doesn't matter that the Other is different from you, of a lower or higher class, intelligent or not. It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter if they're a jerk. It's been my experience that people are often jerks because they're unhappy or tense or because they don't realize they are. But me being a jerk back wouldn't help their situation in any way. Ever. So I treat them with respect. Over time, if I know them that long, sometimes I earn a grudging respect from them, even when others don't. Sometimes things never change, but ... Sometimes they do. But this isn't about the jerks we sometimes run into in life......

A few months ago, someone asked me to help them pick out a computer. I did so, then went and helped set it up. Whilst I was working on it, I was asked if I'd look at a neighbor's printer. I went over to the neighbor, and looked at the printer. There was nothing at all wrong with it - but the software they were using to print from would not wrap when it reached the edge of the page so the text would be cut off when sent to the printer. Internet Explorer 5 behaved that way, and upgrades were available all the way up to 8. I suggested they upgrade to 7 or 8 which would resize the page and print it properly, and for free, and then I left.

It turns out that when they updated that, they also upgraded something else (at my recommendation) that broke Windows totally. It was, I'd consider it, a manufacturing defect. The details aren't so important - the point was, they called me back and said, "We did what you suggested, and now our computer won't turn on." I looked at the company's website and the top listing for support for that model was a problem with doing the Windows upgrades having a conflict on that model. And a link to a fix. So I downloaded software and put it on a cd, and went and fixed the pc for them.

While I was there, we started talking about our hobbies and interests. She was into various papercrafts, cardmaking, and the like. While I am into photography. After I had her computer running again, I logged onto my page and showed her my favorite picture - and she recognized the church in the scene. She immediately went to the phone and called her friend, who was a member there, and described it to her.

Long story short, I donated a print to that friend, and showed her my book that I had published the year before. When she wanted one, I told her that I'd sell it to her for the regular price, but she could take $5 off the price and donate it to the church instead of me. It just seemed like the thing to do. Why not?

And as it turns out, she sold a copy here and there to several of her friends and fellow parishoners... In all, I sold 28 books through her. The $5 per copy that went back to the church was matched by another organization, and so the church earned $280 on the book sale! I originally offered the donation because I was moved to do so. The photo of that church moved me to explore photography in a more active way than ever before. It was the thing to do. Why not return $5 to the church that had helped inspire me to do more. It was the 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' mentality. And the $5 became $280 which made a real difference in their budget.

But rewind that a bit. The first request was from a friend to help with a computer problem. Then I met a friend of the friend, and then through her met a friend of the friend of my friend. And now because I have three friends (and more) instead of one, the church earned $280 towards some much needed repairs. And I made enough profit to pay for a few more copies that I gave to family as gifts.

I could have told my friend that I was too busy (and I was!!). But as a result of the investment, I made new friends, continued along my journey a few more steps... and the church benefitted.

And what started this ramble? Love. Yes, love. When you apply the golden rule to your life in a way that affects those around you, do so out of your heart, or don't bother. Don't do unto them because you are currying favor. Don't do for them because you want something. Don't care for someone in an attempt to make them care for you. Show respect, and express love, with no hope or desire for return. If you love them, help them repair their wings and fly. If they fly away, give thanks because they are able, and if they return and love you back then good. But don't do ANYTHING because you want something. Do it because you care.

After awhile, it can become a habit, a lifestyle. You may find yourself on the Road to... There.


And There is where we all need to try to be.

Shuttle Trip and Other Life Stuff

I've not been very active here for some months now. I am on a 'hiatus' as it were. Not gone, just temporarily absent. A lot of things going on in life, mostly pretty good overall. I have so much to tell you, and so little time.

One of these days, things will be 'normal' again, and in a better way than before. And when life does settle down a bit, then I plan to do some of the things I've flirted with over the past few years - to include more focus on the art of photography, and maybe even some sales... For the time being, I've closed my ebay shop. It was a nice experiment.

The books I put together have been a wonderful success - in terms of distribution. Considering it was a self-publishing effort, and I never sold ANY through the publishers website, and only sold through word-of-mouth, I did great. Enough to give several as gifts and still break even. I sold almost 100 books altogether, and at $60 a pop (expensive by my standards) that was saying something. And not a lot of effort went into it. (Read more here: A Window to My World)

As an, "Oh by the way" you should check out Karen Arnold's deviantArt website, as well as my own, if you're interested in the images in my book. Her collection of five paintings based on my photos may be found, along with many others, at http://buble.deviantart.com/gallery and my page, which has many images from Central PA, is at http://arkansawyer.deviantart.com/gallery .

The last wave of sales was a fundraiser for the church that is featured in the first section, where one of the members of the church stumbled upon my book. For every copy she sold, $5 of the purchase price went back to the church, and it turns out the Lutheran Brotherhood matched the donations dollar-for-dollar. So for 28 copies of the book that the church's members bought, the church itself earned $280, money which went directly toward fixing an old furnace that is used to heat the building. And the funny part of the story is that meeting Ms. Patrick in the first place was a total fluke, an accident, some would call it a coincidence.

And - that has been life over the past year. Full of interesting coincidences that have changed the landscape of my life dramatically. For the first time in 20 years as an adult, I finally have a plan for some of my future. It's not fully formed out, but I am working on it. From budgets that I've set and lived by for the past few months to try and reduce and eventually eliminate debt, to eating healthier to have a longer, happier life. And so much more. And you'll hear more about it as long as we remain friends... All I can say is that Good has entered my life - call it God, the Great Spirit, call it Love, or Grace, or anything you want... I am on a journey toward a better place, and although it's taken and will take awhile to get there, I will continue moving forward one step at a time... I've learned that it's not so much the destination that is important - it's the journey. And as long as I am moving forward with a purpose, instead of drifting with the current, then life is pretty good.

And there's my family... The purpose of this journal was to introduce my son. His nickname is Beanz. He's very active in various bands, including Marching Band, concert band, jazz band, county band, through his school. He's a bright and wonderful kid, if he can overcome his natural teenage tendencies to stay up late and procrastinate. :)

A few months ago, he was invited to participate in a summer trip with a small group of students to Florida, to watch one of the last two launches of the space shuttle, before the fleet is decommissioned. The selection was based on a polling of several teachers as to who should be nominated. Only those students who were selected by multiple teachers were considered.

I gave him two requirements to meet: 1) He had to bring his grades up - and with the marking period just past, he got Distinguished Honor Roll :dance:. And 2) He had to make some effort to do a fundraiser. I told him I'd match him dollar-for-dollar, but so far he hasn't made enough for the deposit. I suggested he start with a letter that I could post to my 'sites' and send out with Christmas cards. And there, I fell down on the job - I didn't even send out Christmas cards. Nor, till yesterday and today, did I post this online anywhere. (I did post a short version of this on Facebook - my page there is James Wheeler if you'd like to befriend me).

Here is Jeremy "Beanz" Wheeler's letter:

Hello!

Since most readers of this is family and friends close enough to be family, you probably know me. Yes, this your friendly cousin/nephew/grandson/friend, Jeremy Wheeler. Now, as many of you may or may not know, I have been selected for a special honor in my school. My math/physics teacher, Mr. Dwane Lahr, has selected a group of students, including me, to attend one of the final NASA space shuttle launches at the end of July next summer in Cape Canaveral, Florida. It is a special occasion that few will actually see close up, like we will. The space shuttle program is being abolished very soon, and is going to be replaced with the original rocket-based design for manned trips to extra-terrestrial bodies, like the Moon. The trip, which is five days long, is going to highlight two days at the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral. We will also spend a day to have fun, by going places such as Sea World, Orlando Studios, and/or Disney World. Two days are of course devoted to getting to and from Florida (probably by plane). A full document showing our plans and potential extras is shown at Shuttle Trip.

Here's the tricky part. The overall cost for the trip is estimated at around $600 per student. This price is all-inclusive, and covers everything but spending money for our free day. I am planning on getting a job to pay for part of this, on top of other things. Several involved parents are planning a fundraiser to help with the trip. The only thing is, my dad and I don't think it will be enough. I am asking for a small donation (it doesn't have to be much) to help pay for this trip to Florida. If you don't have the money to put into it, that is perfectly ok! Don't worry about it if you don't have it.

If you do, and you would like to donate to the cause, you can pay through PayPal to either arkansawyer@gmail.com (my dad's email address), or jeremy.baggins@gmail.com (Jeremy's email address), or send a donation in any form to

Jeremy Wheeler
1820 Mountain House Road,
Halifax, PA 17032

Many thanks,
Jeremy Wheeler


If you'd like to help out Beanz, a small donation would be appreciated. Even if all you'd like to do is email him and congratulate him on his selection for this trip, feel free to do so! Just let him know you learned about him through Blogger and this post.