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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Front Teeth

Ever wonder... how to put back in those two front teeth, if they were to get busted out during some unplanned "event" such as a barroom brawl, or when your wife decides she's had enough and slugs you really good and hard, right there in your mouth.

Well, this is a way, I reckon, to accomplish this task, just in case no dentist or oral surgeon is around or you decide to just take it upon yourself to fix it up. Please note that this is not FDA nor doctor approved, and hasn't been tested (as far as I know).

It just came up in a conversation, and this seemed to be the logical place to write down my thoughts concerning it.

First of all... We all know that all the ills in life can be fixed with baling wire and bubble gum, and maybe duct tape or WD-40. I am gonna add to this super glue - it has it's place, too.

Take a piece of duct tape, ball it up on your tongue, and put your thumb under the tongue and push upwards... in the moisture of the mouth, this might not be the most effective stickum there is, but it's temporary anyhow... it should be nuff to keep the tongue out of the way for the more important part of the procedure.

you can then take some clothes pins, if available, and pin them to your upper and lower lips, forcing them out away from your gums a little - again so the stickum won't glue something accidental.

then when yore tongue and lips are safely out of the way, open up the super glue ... squeeze about half a tube on each of your teetn, and cram them back up into the cavities from which they were removed. be sure to hold them in place for a few minutes. maybe a wadded up paper towel would do the trick but be careful to get rid of the excess as paper towels glued to your teeth might not be the pleasantest tasting stuff in the whole wide world.

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