Wedding Flies

Sitting here, at someone else's desk this week, covering for a fellow worker who went fishing, has been a relaxing break from the humdrum. That is, till today.

Not that today has been "bad" mind you, but... there was one little problem.

It goes back to when I was ... oh... I don't know... maybe 12 or 13. Old enough that I could be embarrased quite easily. And with a brother a year and a half older who didn't mind embarrasing me at all.

And, my sister. She was getting married. At her boss's house, which was, by comparison to our home, a mansion. There was a very wide stairway up to the upper level from the outside front of the house. The pastures all had board fences. Everything was elegantly placed.

We went in, Mom, Dad, my brother and I. There were all these people in fancy clothes. Suits like I had never seen. It was really, I suppose, a "family affair". After all, it was in a home, not a church. A very nicely appointed home, in which I felt very out of place.

We walked around, looking things over. In those days, my brother and I were... pretty close.... not necessarily bestest buds, but... pretty close. Ummm... Except, he was across the room, from me. There was a nice cake on the table, which had a frilly tablecloth. I think there was a huge grandfather clock in the corner of the room.

Probably a dozen or more people standing around, visiting, talking... waiting for things to happen. I am not sure where my parents had gone off to. Or where my sister was. So here we were, Ted and I. Apart from each other, yet in the same room, surrounded by suits and dresses of strangers we'd never know.

And what do I hear? In a very loud voice, "HEY JAMES... YOUR FLY IS OPEN!!!"

And he was gone.

Well, today, my fly is open. That is to say, I've had problems with this pair of pants before and haven't worn them in months. Somehow, this morning they were hanging in the closet again, and I threw them on without thinking. Came to work.. And at some point, used the bathroom and noted that the zipper was slightly stuck. Or... well... it zips... but doesn't do anything but slide up and down.

Someone helpful gave me a safety pin. About an inch long. I tried. I really did. Didn't do any good. There was talk of driving home, or getting super glue, or "night pants" from the dollar store, but... I thought the super glue idea was great ... till I thought about having to ask, "Hey, anybody got any super glue remover?!? My thingy is stuck."

Well, at this desk, away from my own, I am in an office by myself, and although the door is open, there isn't too much opportunity for people to just "walk in". There were no meetings today, so... I sit here, with it as "good" as it can be, quiet as I can be, avoiding meeting strangers who might gape at me... or coworkers who might say, in a very loud voice, "Hey James, your fly is open".

Good thing Ted isn't here to help me out.